On Friday morning, The Daily Californian reported that members of the Phi Gamma Delta (Fiji) fraternity at UC Berkeley were documented on video chanting homophobic slurs. Despite the egregious nature of the incident, the reaction from many campus leaders was one of disappointment, but not surprise. Perhaps even less surprising than the problematic behavior exhibited by Fiji brothers was the organization’s apology.
In a public statement addressing the video, Fiji president Chad Todd stated, “Every brother of the Delta Xi chapter of the Phi Gamma Delta Fraternity here at UC Berkeley is sincerely sorry and ashamed that someone caught our indiscretions on video.”
“If we had known that someone was going to film us chanting homophobic slurs,” Todd continued, “we never would have done it so loudly. We promise that this will never happen again because while we’re not going to address the deep-rooted homophobia and toxic masculinity in our organization, you can be damn-well sure we’ll be quieter next time!”
Pledge master Kyle Kyle released public comment as well, “I mean, actually new idea! It was like all a mistake anyway! And even if we were forcing our pledges to yell – which we weren’t – it would have been “I’m a bigot!” not “I’m a f*****t” Big mistake! We’ll make sure our pledges enunciate more next time we force them to scream things during our fun, voluntary brotherhood activities!”
Predictably, IFC leadership is able to do jack shit about this due to the fact that Fiji is “unaffiliated and unrecognized” by both the Greek Council and the University of California entirely.
“The fact that FIJI is universally condemned is perfect for the university’s PR,” remarked the Vice Chancellor. “We get to wash our hands clean of accountability for blatant homophobia, while also ensuring that Fiji will exist independently of any community oversight for years to come.”
Individual brothers of Fiji had a difficult time understanding what the fuss was about, claiming to be allies of the LGBTQ+ community.
“We’re totally allies,” remarked White Whiterson, a third-year from Mission Viejo, California. “I’ve watched Queer Eye twice.”
“Yeah, and I know what Grindr is!” added second-year Trip Clarkson, “So yeah I am an ally too or whatever that shit is. This backlash is totally unfair, man.”
When asked for a comment on the record, FIJI told The Free Peach, “We stand with the LGBTQ community. Two feet apart, cause we’re NOT gay. Oh, and no homo.”