BERKELEY, Calif. – A groundbreaking research paper from the University of California, Berkeley’s Department of Hair has revealed that beneath 99% of bangs lies a forehead.
REPORT: I’m Working on Myself in Order to get Someone Else’s Attention
BERKELEY, Calif. – U.C. Berkeley senior Kendra Paltrow (no relation) has changed a lot since Freshman year. She’s picked up meditation, no longer cuts her …
Can Anyone Remember: Did We Do Something About ‘Kony 2012’???
How come he gets to have a number with his name? Who are the 2,011 other Konys?
Berkeley Thrifters Immune to Earthquakes Due to How Retrofitted They Are
“I was sitting in my car in one of the Nobel laureate parking spots, dreaming of a future where I could go there during the day and not in the dead of night when nobody would tow me, when everything came together: the earthquake didn’t want to shake that student because it didn’t want to damage their vintage Rick Owens.”
British Museum Miraculously Understands How to be Respectful to a Dead Body
LONDON, United Kingdom – On Thursday, members of the British government were saddened to learn about the loss of a revenue stream also known as …
OPINION: I’m Not Forgiving Student Loan Until She Actually Apologizes
Student loan and I go way back. We met at the end of my senior year of high school, and at first, everything was picture …
Freshman Found Adhered to Floor of Frat House Just Wants to Go Home
BERKELEY, Calif. – Late Sunday afternoon campus officials responded to reports that freshman Cindy Falseton had been inadvertently stuck to the basement floor of the …
UC Berkeley WarnMe: AVOID THE AREA OF Doe Library (I’m There and Look Really Good, so I Don’t Want You to Feel Bad)
Please note this message will definitely contain information that you will find upsetting. On 04-04-2022 08:30:00, I looked hot outside Doe Library. At approximately 09:25:00, …