To prepare, I set my large cast iron rounded pot on the fire in my backyard and began filling my pot with various brews (water). My two closest friends (proximity-wise, not emotionally), came to join me (they left their rooms, we are roommates).
I Wrote This Article to Give You a Break From Jokes About Spotify Wrapped
I know what you’re expecting: that this article about not making a joke about Spotify wrapped is just going to be a long winded way of making a joke about Spotify wrapped. But worry not, dear reader, I am not here to torment you. I am here to give you respite, a blanket and a cup of tea. I am here to say: welcome to a safe space. A haven, if you will, away from the constant and seemingly never ending barrage of funny silly tweets about Spotify wrapped.
New Study Finds You Should Lick Your Salt Lamp at Least Thrice a Day for Proper Maintenance
BERKELEY, Calif. — A new study put out by the UC Berkeley Department of Public Health has determined that despite what your bitchy roomate has …
CNR Student Provides Expert Opinion: We Really Needed This Rain
Many are calling UC Berkeley’s College of Natural Resources student Karly Mandel a hero after her comments about the importance of the recent rainfall in the Bay Area. Sources report that Mandel is currently enrolled in ESPM 15, Intro to Environmental Science, where she has become well versed in the enormously complex concepts at hand.
OPINION: My Tummy Hurts and I Really Need Someone to Care About It
If I don’t make it, let these, my last words, make their way to the public and let the public know that today, they lost a brave soldier. (But also if someone brought me some Tums or something I might be fine?)
Ugly Students Protest the Tearing Down of Evans Hall in Solidarity
The protest lasted several hours, and included speeches made by prominent members of the club. The president, amidst roaring cheers from the crowd, made a speech outlining CUCK’s distaste with the university’s decision to tear down Evans Hall. In a dramatic conclusion, he began a lively chant, “Get up! Get down! There’s an ugly movement in this town!” The chant soon caught on, but became muddled as it made its way through the crowd. Dozens of protesters sympathetic to the cause could be heard yelling “Get down! Get down! There’s an ugly member of this crowd!”
Freshman Found Adhered to Floor of Frat House Just Wants to Go Home
BERKELEY, Calif. – Late Sunday afternoon campus officials responded to reports that freshman Cindy Falseton had been inadvertently stuck to the basement floor of the …
Putin and Carol Christ Share Enthused Fist Bump Over Displacement of Innocent People
BERKELEY, Calif. — During a surprise visit to the Bay Area, Russian President Vladimir Putin and UC Berkeley Chancellor Carol Christ met to discuss the …