America, we will never be able to agree on everything. We all want what’s best for our country, and we all have different ideas of …
Quarantined with 1D?!
I wake up to my parents standing above me. I blink a few times, rubbing my light blue orbs to get rid of my sleepiness. …
Andrew Yang Announces Road Trip With Beto O’Rourke After Suspending Campaign
BREAKING NEWS: As of February 11, 2020, Andrew Yang announced he will be suspending his presidential campaign. Yang ran an innovative campaign known for its …
Team Edward Caucusing For Joe Biden
According to polling data out of Iowa, the majority of Team Edward is enthusiastically looking forward to supporting Former Vice President Joe Biden in the …
The 10 Hottest Things A Man Can Do
4. Smile at me while owning a vintage camera.
ATTENTION: Manic Pixie Dream Girl for Hire!
I have bangs and glasses. I play the ukulele. And I have four pairs of overalls.
A Day In The Life of the FBI Man In My Webcam
The American public is under constant surveillance, and social media only aids in these pursuits. Mark Zuckerberg is sitting on a huge cache of my …
Mastering The Art of Asking A Question That’s Actually a Statement — A Manifesto
My peers ask me this all the time. “Why can’t you just ask a question like everybody else?” and “Why do you insist on taking up space?”
I Talk So Much In Section Because I Must Preserve America’s Democracy: By Every Male Political Science Major
Some people can’t handle the discourse I inspire. Okay, fine, you made me say it – these people are usually women.
“How Can Medieval Knights Continue Making The Same Tactical Blunders And Expect Different Outcomes?” Says Poli Sci Student Texting Ex During Lecture
Making the same silly mistakes over and over again without ever learning or changing. I would never do something so stupid.
Anyway, today I texted Brad.