This past weekend, I office-sirened more than anyone ever has, both literally and (I know now) figuratively. With the rush of the Supernanny audio playing in my head and Miranda Priestly’s voice calmly coaxing my thoughts, I pulled the lecture hall fire alarm.
How did I get here? I remember gleefully watching edits of Lucy Liu and other queens clad in chic vests and suits gathering stares as they walked through their offices, often with house music playing in the background. “The original office siren,” the captions read. What was a Bayonetta? Why were there Monsters High characters interspersed with high fashion models?
The more I admired these corporate girl bosses the more seduced I was by this esoteric trend. I decided one day that I had had enough of observing. In every way of the word, I was going to be an office siren. Since I’m unemployed, I thought about how to best replicate an office and decided on my ECON 1 lecture hall. ‘Siren? There’s so many on the walls!’ I thought, confused as to why some Tiktokers dubbed this as a trend not for ordinary people.
My first foray into being an office siren exceeded my expectations. The lecture hall cleared,creating the most exquisite DIY runway. I put my loafers on, donned my fitted vintage Mugler women’s shirt, and strutted to my next class to do it all over again.