STANFORD, Calif. — This past week, Stanford University in Palo Alto debuted their newest method of implementing DEI in campus photography– AI. Rather than …
Trader Joe’s Teases New Kosher Line: Trader Jew’s
TRADER JOE’S – On Shabbat, the staple grocery announced its plans to unveil a new line just in time for Yom Kippur: Trader Jew’s. The …
Linkedin Adds Relationship Status Button
This past Friday, professional social media platform LinkedIn released an exciting new addition to their site. Alongside the “about me” section on individual user profiles, …
Professor Threatens To Kill Herself As Students Pack Up 10 Minutes Early
BERKELEY, Calif. – UC Berkeley Rhetoric Professor Sue E. Sidal reportedly threatened to kill herself last Thursday afternoon after noticing various students zipping their bags …
People’s Park Repurposed As Data Center
BERKELEY, Calif. — UC Berkeley Haas recently announced an approved plan to repurpose the People’s Park Project into a state-of-the-art data center. The land was …
Superb Books Erika Kirk For Tribute Concert
SPROUL HALL, Berkeley, Calif. – Less than a week after Superb hosts Between Friends, a new rumour has hit the streets of Telegraph — leaving …
Opinion: I’m Not a Job Hunter, I’m a Job Gatherer
BAY AREA, CALIFORNIA — Well, well, well, yet another summer has come and gone, and I’m still unemployed. Between the dipshits at [Insert AI …
Mike Wazowski Drops Oozma Kappa after Elephant Walk
MONSTERS U, Monstropolis — All Mike Wazowski wanted was to be a part of touse. However, now he bidlessly roams the streets on Saturday night …
Haas Students Taken Aback By Number Of Coloring Pages Assigned
BERKELEY, Calif. – As the Berkeley student body settles into their new classes for the Fall semester, it’s no surprise to most that some professors …
Missing Home? Situationship Calls You Mommy for Mother’s Day
BERKELEY, Calif.–– On Sunday, children around the U.S. rejoiced with love and thanks for Mother’s Day. However, as finals loom closer and the men of …