BERKELEY, Calif.–– On Saturday, April 4th, inside sources leaked the plans of a partnership between Yogurt Park and the vape company, Geek Bar. Offering the …
5 Ways Men Supported Me During Women’s History Month
With Women’s History Month now done, I wanted to share my favorite ways men have displayed their support towards me as a woman. As everyone …
New Matcha Place Surely Better Than Last Four
BERKELEY, Calif. – Riveting news– a new matcha cafe has opened up near the UC Berkeley campus. And this one is different for a specific, …
U.S. Stages Military Intervention in Mexico By Deploying Frat Brothers to Cabo
CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico – In efforts to project American freedom, the Trump administration has decided to begin conflict in yet another foreign country albeit …
Trump Confused by Lack of Eid al-Fitr Invitations
BERKELEY, Calif. – After searching his email, letters, and Instagram messages constantly for the past month, Donald Trump realized no invitation was coming to welcome …
Iran Threatens Drone Strike Over Timothée Chalamet Remarks
LOS ANGELES, Calif. – With the Oscars this Sunday, Iran has sworn retaliation on the United States surprisingly not after the unwarranted Israel-U.S. attack, but …
Berkeley Drops WARNME for Ditto
SAN FRANCISCO BAY, Calif — On a rather chilling evening, to the dismay of all of Berkeley, a tragedy struck once again: Ditto.AI was planning …
REPORT: Revolution Delayed by Berkeley Time
We regret to announce that the long-awaited revolution is going to be a little late – ten minutes late, in fact. Or maybe twelve. Sorry, …
Rich Lyons FRAMEMOGGED by JESTERGOONING Cal Frat Leader
Following a serious altercation between protesting students and campus security, Rich Lyons was spotted walk-maxxing with females by SAE when he was brutally framemogged by …
President Trump on Heated Rivalry: “Frankly, it’s Very Big”
WASHINGTON, D.C.– After a stressful day of prompting AI to make racist videos for social media, Epstein associate Donald Trump held a brief press conference …