BAY AREA, CALIFORNIA — Well, well, well, yet another summer has come and gone, and I’m still unemployed. Between the dipshits at [Insert AI …
Mike Wazowski Drops Oozma Kappa after Elephant Walk
MONSTERS U, Monstropolis — All Mike Wazowski wanted was to be a part of touse. However, now he bidlessly roams the streets on Saturday night …
Haas Students Taken Aback By Number Of Coloring Pages Assigned
BERKELEY, Calif. – As the Berkeley student body settles into their new classes for the Fall semester, it’s no surprise to most that some professors …
Missing Home? Situationship Calls You Mommy for Mother’s Day
BERKELEY, Calif.–– On Sunday, children around the U.S. rejoiced with love and thanks for Mother’s Day. However, as finals loom closer and the men of …
Report: If Your Child Doesn’t Know These Words by 6 Months, You Should Get Them Tested
We here at The Free Peach are proud supporters of Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and are actively researching new ways to support childhood development, MAHA …
Professor Reminds Class Attendance is Mandatory to Puff Puff Pass the Class
BERKELEY, Calif – On the eve of 4/20, Berkeley Professor Stic Ler issued a bCourses announcement for his EECS “Intro to Good and Bad For …
Noah Uses Doorlist for Ark
MOUNTAINS OF ARARAT, Eastern Anatolia –Following Thursday’s sudden flash flood warnings, local people and animals have been scrambling to find transit out of Ararat. Rather …
UC Berkeley Startup Founder Better Start Upping those Grades
BERKELEY, Calif. – The University of California, Berkeley has founded more venture backed companies than any other collegiate institution. The Free Peach has conducted an …
YoPo Reveals New Flavor: Miami Mint Geek Bar
BERKELEY, Calif.–– On Saturday, April 4th, inside sources leaked the plans of a partnership between Yogurt Park and the vape company, Geek Bar. Offering the …
5 Ways Men Supported Me During Women’s History Month
With Women’s History Month now done, I wanted to share my favorite ways men have displayed their support towards me as a woman. As everyone …