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Posted on May 14, 2022 by: Shane Pauker

Crowd Cheers as Acoustic Guitar Players Fight for Dominance of the Glade

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Posted on May 14, 2022 by: Shane Pauker

Crowd Cheers as Acoustic Guitar Players Fight for Dominance of the Glade

BERKELEY, Calif. — Freshman Maya Whitman was surprised on Wednesday to see that her boyfriend, Michael Fisher, was surrounded by a crowd on Memorial Glade.  …

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Posted on May 13, 2022 by: Valmic Mukund

CNR Student Celebrates Graduation by Bidding Final Farewell to the Environment

BERKELEY, Calif. — Conservation and Resource Studies major Clark Morrison celebrated his graduation from the Rausser College of Natural Resources on Sunday by bidding a …

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Posted on May 11, 2022 by: Valmic Mukund

“This Is Literally 1984!” Cries Conservative Who Would Prefer to Take Us Back to the Dark Ages

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a shocking but also entirely unsurprising decision, the self-described ‘apolitical institution’ that is the Supreme Court of the United States has …

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Posted on May 6, 2022 by: Shane Pauker

Recycling, Compost, Landfill: All End Up in the Mighty Mouth of Korbulon the Destroyer Anyway

BERKELEY, Calif. — Environmental activist groups were shocked to learn that Berkeley’s recycling, compost, and landfill waste bins all end up in the same place: …

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Posted on May 5, 2022May 5, 2022 by: Valmic Mukund

Top Ten Pirate Shanties to Listen to This Argh Argh Argh Week

Ahoy, ye blue-and-yellow-bellied scallywags! Argh Argh Argh week is upon us! Lest ye wish to walk the plank, celebrate by belting out these festive shanties …

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Posted on May 4, 2022 by: Shane Pauker

Friend With Car Probably Has Other Traits

BERKELEY, Calif. — Although Cal junior Dave Mills is best known for his 2011 Honda Fit (sport model), his friends report that he may have …

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Posted on May 3, 2022May 3, 2022 by: Ajay Madala

Best of Berkeley 2022

Although it’s only May, we feel it is the appropriate time to give recommendations for the best Berkeley sites of 2022. We are incredibly privileged …

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Posted on April 29, 2022 by: Shane Pauker

How to Block Out the Sound of Your Stepdad Railing Your Mom

Listen. I get that mom’s been lonely since dad disappeared. I’m happy that she’s putting herself out there. Alden treats her well and is good …

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Posted on April 29, 2022April 29, 2022 by: courtneyyeet

I Gave DuoMobile All My Cookies to Sign In and Now I Don’t Have Any Left for My Mouse

If you need to verify your identity, you will need to sign in with DuoMobile. When you open DuoMobile, it says you will have to …

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Posted on April 28, 2022April 28, 2022 by: The Free Peach

Fraternity Kappa Alpha Order Hosts Diversity Training in Robert E. Lee Conference Room

Content Warning: This article contains content discussing Confederate Army generals, slavery, the Klu Klux Klan, and more generally, white men being racist pieces of shit.  …

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