Fuck It! We Ranked All The Sororities at Cal Alphabetically!

Everyone at Cal is always debating who is the top house? Is it one super white sorority, or is another just was white sorority with a few brunettes. So to settle this age-old debate, we here at The Free Peach have decided to rank all the sororities at Cal… alphabetically.

1.) Alpha Chi Omega

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Yeah, that’s right. Alpha Chi Omega is sitting pretty and number one on our list! Why? Because A is the first letter of the alphabet and the second word starts with a C, which is still pretty high up there! Way to go AXO your alphabetical prowess is unmatched. Hell Ya! Let’s keep it up, on to number two.

2.) Alpha Delta Pi

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Not first, but close, that’s what number two means, and that’s the ranking that Alpha Delta Pi gets on our very very definitive list. It’s still ahead of a lot of other houses, good job. Nice! Who’s up next?

3.) Alpha Phi

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Third place. Not too bad! This is wild. Do you agree? Well, who FUCKING cares because this is the motherfucking alphabet! Wahooo let’s move on, who’s the lucky bastards at number four?

4.) Chi Omega

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Chi Omega coming in hot at number four! They almost lost their charter but that doesn’t stop them from almost topping this list! Let’s go. Moving on, who’s next?

5.) Delta Delta Delta

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Yeah, they’re number five, you guessed it! Three of the same letters in a row mean that unless there was another house that started with a D then had either an A, B, or C in its second letter. But that is not the case. So congratulations Delta Delta Delta you clinched that number five spot.                                                                               

6.) Delta Gamma

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Not much to say here, G is after D but before S so that puts the ladies of the anchor at the illustrious number six spot. Okay, let’s keep this moving.

7.) Delta Sigma

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This new house has a beautiful view of the bay, but it definitely doesn’t make it number one. Seven isn’t too bad for such a young house. Our advice next time? Choose a name that starts with an A.

8.) Gamma Phi Beta

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Congrats! Eighth place! Frankly, we didn’t realize G was after A, B, C, D, E, and F, but the ranking of Gamma Phi Beta on this list affirms that that is, in fact, true! XD! This is getting tiring–but let’s keep going.

9.) Kappa Alpha Theta

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Now, this is a wild one!  You would think they would be much lower on the list because people call them “Theta” but in reality, their name starts with Kappa Alpha Theta. Wow! That’s so cool. Who would’ve thought? Thank god we’re ranking all the houses alphabetically or else you never would have known this.

10.) Kappa Kappa Gamma

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Yeah, we’re gonna say it. Kappa Kappa Gamma is the 10th best house alphabetically. A lot of people would have been scared to say that but we aren’t. No, we fight for real fucking news here. Ten isn’t too bad but it’s a lot lower than number one. Ten isn’t the worst – there are still lower houses – but it’s not something to go home bragging to your mom about. K isn’t even that far down in the alphabet, but in the American one or whatever our alphabet is called, K is lower than all the letters above it. Okay, let’s keep this going. Number 11! Wahooooo.

12.) Pi Beta Phi

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12th place. Nice. Even the large amount of blondes and athletes in your house couldn’t get you a higher ranking alphabetically. Have fun at 12th.

13.) Sigma Kappa

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Wow. 13th place. Even though their house looks like a Disney movie, they STILL are subject to the rules and arbitrary distinctions made by the American alphabet!

14.) Zeta Tau Alpha

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And coming in last, Zeta Tau Alpha. Wow that was tiring. Better luck next time Zeta! Choose a better letter I guess. Thank god we’re done.

Yeah, we did it! We ranked them all. That was wild. Man, we never wanna do that again. But we did it.