One of the tremendous benefits of attending a world-class university like UC Berkeley is the huge international exploration opportunity it affords. So far this spring, I have been privileged enough to study abroad in France, traveling throughout the cities, the Riviera, and the beautiful countryside, becoming engrossed in French culture. This experience shed new light on my experience at Berkeley overall, and on Greek life in particular. Now, because of my extensive world traveling, I have become enlightened regarding a common and highly damaging misconception:

It’s technically only ‘Shackles and Champagne’ if they’re from the Champagne region of France. Otherwise, you have to call them ‘Sparkling Wine and Zip Ties.’

For those tragically unaware, ‘Shackles and Champagne’ is an American college drinking condition in which you and a partner, generally someone you’re tryna bone later in the evening, get bound together and cannot break free of your cuffs until you finish a magnum bottle of champagne. Except it’s not champagne, you unevolved plebeians. Real champagne comes from Champagne, France, an area known for its nutrient-rich soil which makes damn good bubbly. Stop being posers and drink some $2 prosecco, you cretins, while I spray myself with Dom, handcuff a chick with real, police grade cuffs, and bask in the glorious French sun.


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