BERKELEY, Calif. – As finals approach, students have inevitably flocked to citation managers and word processors to mock-up their final projects. However, despite a deluge …
LS 110: ‘Brilliance of Berkeley’ Exclusive New Course Syllabus Preview
To introduce new students to the extensive history and incredible accomplishments of UC Berkeley, the College of Letters and Science has introduced a new class …
‘Is it Berkeley Time?’ Asks Man About Grandma’s Funeral
LOS ANGELES – Recent Berkeley graduate Tim Atkins was spotted arriving late to his grandmother’s funeral at his hometown church after asking his family members …
‘We’re Gonna Destroy Them This Weekend,’ Says Stanford About Minorities
STANFORD, Calif. – In anticipation of the Big Game this weekend, Stanford students, fans, and faculty have joined together to spread the message that they …
Big Al’s Reveals Hot New Flavored Vape: ‘Cigarettes’
BERKELEY, Calif. – While most other smoke shops have seen a loss in profits due to the passage of SB 793 prohibiting the sale of …
Man Realizes ‘Situationship’ is Not a Consulting Club Term
BERKELEY, Calif. — A shocking revelation struck Sproul Plaza this afternoon when certified “label-hater” Noah Stringson, attempting to reconcile with his pseudo-girlfriend, discovered that the …
Toxic Medieval Studies Major Refuses to Let Girlfriend Wear Purple
BERKELEY, Calif. — Although taking one’s studies seriously is typically regarded as important, sophomore Elizabeth MacDuggen believes that her ‘toxic’ boyfriend and medieval studies major …
UCPD Announces 40,000 Suspects in GBC Banana Heist
BERKELEY, Calif.– A campus-wide email sent on Monday evening shocked students, as they learned that amongst them walked a hardened criminal: the mastermind architect behind …
Major Advisor Now Only Reachable Through Séance
BERKELEY, Calif. – In a spooky turn of events, Computer Science Undergraduate Advisor Gong Whitdee Ngyuen has apparently changed their meeting availability to séance-only appointments. …
Professor Offers Extra Credit to Students Who Fail Midterm in Costume
BERKELEY, Calif.– Students enrolled in ECON 100B, Cobalt and Child Labor: A Match Made in Heaven, were dismayed to learn that their midterm would be …