BERKELEY, Calif.–– On Sunday, children around the U.S. rejoiced with love and thanks for Mother’s Day. However, as finals loom closer and the men of …
Professor Reminds Class Attendance is Mandatory to Puff Puff Pass the Class
BERKELEY, Calif – On the eve of 4/20, Berkeley Professor Stic Ler issued a bCourses announcement for his EECS “Intro to Good and Bad For …
UC Berkeley Startup Founder Better Start Upping those Grades
BERKELEY, Calif. – The University of California, Berkeley has founded more venture backed companies than any other collegiate institution. The Free Peach has conducted an …
YoPo Reveals New Flavor: Miami Mint Geek Bar
BERKELEY, Calif.–– On Saturday, April 4th, inside sources leaked the plans of a partnership between Yogurt Park and the vape company, Geek Bar. Offering the …
New Matcha Place Surely Better Than Last Four
BERKELEY, Calif. – Riveting news– a new matcha cafe has opened up near the UC Berkeley campus. And this one is different for a specific, …
Berkeley Drops WARNME for Ditto
SAN FRANCISCO BAY, Calif — On a rather chilling evening, to the dismay of all of Berkeley, a tragedy struck once again: Ditto.AI was planning …
REPORT: Revolution Delayed by Berkeley Time
We regret to announce that the long-awaited revolution is going to be a little late – ten minutes late, in fact. Or maybe twelve. Sorry, …
Rich Lyons FRAMEMOGGED by JESTERGOONING Cal Frat Leader
Following a serious altercation between protesting students and campus security, Rich Lyons was spotted walk-maxxing with females by SAE when he was brutally framemogged by …
UC Berkeley Celebrates Ranking over UCLA in the Epstein Files
BERKELEY, Calif – Upon the release of millions of files related to the ongoing investigation into billionaire and convicted sex-trafficker Jeffery Epstein’s estate, members of …
OPINION: Why I’ll Be Skipping the Super Bowl to Watch “Melania”
At first glance, the Superbowl is the highest form of American art: it has gambling, violence, advertising, and drunk Philadelphians. What’s not to love? However, …