4. Smile at me while owning a vintage camera.
Two-thirds of all roommates at the University of California, Berkeley, are hitting their breaking point as of this Thursday.
While they might seem like light spitters, the Concerts committee members sure know how to turn a mosh pit into a mosh spit.
“To be honest, we knew [Sabin]’s whole ‘quality loss’ thing was a crock of shit,” the advisor said. “But he’s polite, he understands basic hygiene, and his parents have donated $100,000 to the department every semester since he transferred here.”
UC Berkeley sophomore Maya Paredes admitted to friends and colleagues that she only thinks of classmate Tyler Ebner as a friend, blissfully ignorant of the fact that she serves as the sole basis and inspiration for the incel manifesto he will one day write.
Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last three years, you know that Berkeley has a history of stirring up controversy with some …
Sojourner Truth, Susan Anthony, Gloria Steinem, Oprah Winfrey, Emma Watson, Polly Parkinson. Oh? You don’t recognize the last name on that list of iconic and …
So for all you out there like me, I urge you, take a stand! Fight for what you believe in! If you were a real liberal, you wouldn’t Snapchat him back!
Don’t let the capitalist propaganda fool you! Count Olaf was no villain. He was simply a Marxist trying to redistribute capital from a nepotistic family to less fortunate often overlooked communities.
The mission: Last an entire month without eating any nuts or nut-adjacent products.