1. Rubber Cement​: Remember how your second grade teacher kept this one on the top shelf? One whiff of this baby and you’ll understand why Ms. Johnson always moaned when students threw pencils at her. This is a classy glue — best accompanied by a nice merlot and a secondhand Banana Republic pantsuit.
  2. Gorilla Glue: ​This glue isn’t for the faint of heart. A single inhale is enough to empty out a grown man’s bowels — I’ve seen it happen. Like it or not, this glue deserves credit for its boldness. Its overtones of tractor rust and decaying animal carcass are most aptly enjoyed in warm, sauna-like temperatures. Sniff at your own peril in a nice, private place. Seriously. Do this one in private.
  3. Elmer’s Glue:​ In the wake of the 2020 political landscape, many people have reverted to childhood creature comforts as coping mechanisms: some rewatch Hannah Montana; some listen to early 2000s soft rock; some fiend for the familiar scent of the glue of their childhoods. Though not particularly strong, this one will leave you with that warm and fuzzy feeling.
  4. Krazy Glue: ​One time in high school, a kid sniffed a TON of this and ended up swinging between the rafters of the gymnasium like a chimpanzee. When he fell fifty feet he wasn’t even hurt! Krazy Glue gives you wiiiiings.
  5. Contact Cement: ​Many men claim to enjoy steak dinners, contact sports, and vehicles with a lot of horsepower because these things somehow reaffirm their manhood. If you’re one of those men, contact cement is not for you! Contact cement is for the girls! This one is perfect for brunch, or a power yoga session, or even a day at the office– very versatile! Any self-respecting girlboss will always have this one in their purse.
  6. Eau Ecarlate-​ Not glue per say, but if you’re seriously reading a detailed list of huffing glues to the bottom I doubt you care about the inhalant class distinction. This being said, this laundry stain remover packs a good punch in a situation where glue isn’t available.
  7. Krylon Spray Paint- ​Again, not glue. This one is a step above glue, actually. It’s really one thing to have an indulgent little sniff of glue every now and then– sometimes it’s necessary, actually– but if you’re huffing paint? Seek help.

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