Finding a class in Dwinelle Hall is a UC Berkeley rite of passage. According to legend, sibling rivalry caused two architect brothers to split the design of the building and cobble it together later, resulting in the trauma of tens of thousands of freshmen and upperclassmen alike. The following are some hidden gems that may brighten your spirits the next time you’re hopelessly lost in the building!
1. Coffee Beans, Common Grounds Café
What greater treasure than coffee right next door to your 8:00 a.m. discussion? Armed with the rich, luxurious notes of Peet’s from Cal Dining’s Common Grounds on Level F, you will never forget the look on your GSI’s face as you collapse from over-caffeination after 9 back-to-back all-nighters.
2. Quartz, Ishi Court
Travel down a couple floors to Level B, where you will encounter a private, ethereal arrangement of trees and benches. The gleaming quartz embedded into the stone pavement will almost let you forget the genocide of the Yahi people, whose last member provided the namesake for the courtyard and lived as an object of study in the Hearst Museum during his final years.
3. Topaz, Dwinelle 8888
On Dwinelle’s mystical 8th floor, you’ll find this gem in plain sight. Can’t find it? Follow the fire.
4. Escher’s Polyhedron, Multiple locations
There is a spot on every floor of Dwinelle where the two halves of the building come together in a dizzying spectacle of elevators, stairwells, and hallways. At the center of this truly breathtaking optical wonder, you can find M. C. Escher’s polyhedron, a gem that’s as illusory as its location.
5. The Moonstone, Office of Professor Ablewhite
This next item on the list resides in the office of economics and theology faculty member Dr. Godfrey Ablewhite. Or maybe it’s in a bank in London. Or maybe it’s back in India where it belongs. We saw it in his office briefly but haven’t checked since he disappeared.
6. Space Stone, Dwinelle 6409
I’ll let you in on a secret: Dwinelle is the site of a rift in the space-time continuum caused by the Space Stone forged during the Big Bang. The rift opened a portal to Helsinki that has contributed to the steady decline of Scandinavian majors over the past decade.
7. $40,000 Diamond Necklace
Finding this set of gems is not for the faint of heart. Deep in the bowels of Dwinelle, you’ll find the decomposing corpse of Oski’s mother Norma. Not to worry — he shows his undying love for his mom by adopting her personality and lavishing her with expensive gifts funded by the young women who happen to stumble into his motel!
8. (Bonus!) Xanthi Rubies
Rumors state that a hoard of precious stones sits at the center of this freshman maze, in the possession of a half-bull, half-human creature employed by the Classics department. The Peach’s efforts to confirm this were unsuccessful, however — the staff writer who volunteered to find the rubies hasn’t been seen in weeks.