BERKELEY, Calif. – Junior Brock Tresor had borne the thousand injuries of the Sigma Chi dating scene as best he could, but when it at last ventured upon the Halloween masquerade he vowed a successful hunt. 

“Sah, babe? You look pretty fire tonight,” Brock slurred to you, an unsuspecting sophomore. “Have you ever seen the roof of this place? I could show you the roof. Oh shit, actually, y’know what? This Franzia blows. I’ve got the good shit in my room, if you wanna try — Primo Amontillado, from a bottle with a cork and everything. My buddy Kevin — have you met Kevin? He’s fucking crazy — got some and poured me a flask. I’ve still got some if you wanna try it?”

Brock took your hand and began to forge a path through the crowd, an usher through the moldy upper recesses of the house. 

“I like your costume, by the way,” Brock commends you. “Harley Quinn, right? Haha yeah, Suicide Squad was great, gotta love Margot Robbie. Hey, do you want another shot? Let’s take another shot.” You pass a door, slightly ajar, peeking a glimpse of a couple boning inside. “Anyway, liquor before beer, yeah? Better to take care of it all before the Amontillado.”

At last you stumble upstairs, the beat of the music coming up like a clock between the floorboards. 

“Oh sick, it’s in here,” Brock said, halfway out of his motley Patagonia garb, gesturing to his quarters. “Yeah I hope this stuff is good; Kevin paid, like, 15 bucks for it. My bro Luke said it just tasted like Two Buck Chuck, but I bet you have better taste than him. Here, while I get it, why don’t you try on these?” Tresor cast to you a pair of shackles, a rose velvetine hue, as he scoured his armoire for the vessel. “It’s gonna be here somewhere… uhh… Yeah weird I can’t find the flask. Could’ve sworn I had it. Oh well. Can I nail you against the wall?”

You hesitate and excuse yourself to the bathroom. You dropped your Puff Bar as you exit, stage left. To the creak of wresting open his door came forth in return only a jingling of his belt buckle. Your heart grew sick; the dankness of the frat house made it so. In pace requiescat!

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