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Posted on May 10, 2026 by: Ellie Shaps

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Month: March 2026

Posted on March 31, 2026 by: The Free Peach

U.S. Stages Military Intervention in Mexico By Deploying Frat Brothers to Cabo

CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico – In efforts to project American freedom, the Trump administration has decided to begin conflict in yet another foreign country albeit …

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Posted on March 19, 2026 by: The Free Peach

Trump Confused by Lack of Eid al-Fitr Invitations

BERKELEY, Calif. – After searching his email, letters, and Instagram messages constantly for the past month, Donald Trump realized no invitation was coming to welcome …

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Posted on March 16, 2026 by: The Free Peach

Iran Threatens Drone Strike Over Timothée Chalamet Remarks

LOS ANGELES, Calif. – With the Oscars this Sunday, Iran has sworn retaliation on the United States surprisingly not after the unwarranted Israel-U.S. attack, but …

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Posted on March 10, 2026 by: Ellie Shaps

Berkeley Drops WARNME for Ditto

SAN FRANCISCO BAY, Calif — On a rather chilling evening, to the dismay of all of Berkeley, a tragedy struck once again: Ditto.AI was planning …

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Posted on March 5, 2026 by: Audrey Ryder

REPORT: Revolution Delayed by Berkeley Time

We regret to announce that the long-awaited revolution is going to be a little late – ten minutes late, in fact. Or maybe twelve. Sorry, …

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