BREAKING: The Clitoris Found on Wuhu Island After Years of Hiding
WUHU ISLAND, Pacific Ocean – In a press conference today, Interpol announced that they had located The Clitoris, identified in hiding on Wuhu Island.
“It took a several-years-long effort by many of our top investigators,” relayed Interpol Chief, Dev Inatili-Aman, “but we found it. It was hiding in a cave in [Inatili-Aman is interrupted by snickers from the reporters]. What? What’s so funny?”
“Our top investigator, Abe Livious, saw it peeking out from behind a rock in Maka Wuhu when he stumbled upon it. Abe, would you take the mic?”
“Yeah I was doing the dogfighting minigame with the biplanes and I flew into Maka Wuhu and boom, there it was. It was the craziest easter egg I’ve ever found on the island,” retold Livious.
Global observers were shocked as news of The Clitoris’ discovery broke through major news organizations. Career researcher Chad Bradthadson published an op-ed in the Daily Californian sharing his shock at the discovery:
“After my decades of searching for The Cluturus, I started to believe it just didn’t exist! I’ve worked my way up and down the island, feeling around the Red Iron Bridge all the way up to the Mountain Tunnel. At that point it probably did not want to be found. I even studied abroad at Wuhu Island! Her name was Samantha.”
After the initial discovery of The Clitoris news broke through, a small tribe of local Miis came forward, saying they had known it was there all along.
“Didn’t you think to just ask a woman?” sighed tribe leader Becky. “The Clitoris and I take frequent walks along Sugarsand Beach on Sundays. Supreme sword fighter Matt often comes along to battle with it as well. He’s a purple sword with double stripes and a red tip–pretty legit stuff. All he did was ask to join me on these walks and I let him come. And I came too!”
When asked for comments at press time, The Clitoris again slipped into hiding, but the searchers pretended like they found it anyway.