BERKELEY, Calif.– Students enrolled in ECON 100B, Cobalt and Child Labor: A Match Made in Heaven, were dismayed to learn that their midterm would be held at the previously scheduled time: October 31st, Halloween, at 7PM. However, in a gracious gesture of magnanimity, Professor Knowles-Sitall offered two points of extra credit to any student willing to fail the exam in full costume.
“I have heard complaints about the turnaround time with grading,” Knowles-Sitall shared in a bCourses announcement. “As such, my grading team and I have decided to keep the midterm on Halloween. A delay of a single day could add an additional week to the grading process,” he wrote, instead of grading the project his students turned in last month. “Yet in the spirit of fairness, we are going to allow students to earn extra credit by attending the test period in costume. We have heard your complaints about being hungover from a five-day Halloweekend, or that we’re stopping you from hitting Taco Tuesdays with the boys, and we’re confident that this solution will satisfy everyone.”
In a follow-up email, GSI Catherine Dogan clarified the rationale behind the policy.
“Hello students, I hope you’re all doing well following a weekend full of studying,” opened the email students received from cat.dog@berkeley.edu, read by most only hours after returning from Sunday night parties. “I am excited to provide a great opportunity to show some spirit in class while earning points! Some good guidelines: any costumes of course staff will disqualify you from extra credit. We will not be accepting costumes that are just a silly hat. Additionally, no more than three Kens, Barbies, Carmy’s, and Oppenheimer’s will be allowed into the exam room at any given time. In order to not distract your fellow students, please do not come in any costume with flashing lights or sound, unless you’re one of my students in the Wednesday 3-4 PM section – you guys are totally chill, let’s hit Triple Rock after the midterm?”
At press time, students were frantically sewing cheat sheets to the interiors of their vampire capes.