BERKELEY, Calif. – Despite having attended the University of California, Berkeley, since August 2021, senior and certified dumbass Noah Member has failed to do the …
Python Commits Ritual Suicide After Attempting to Run 61A Midterm Code
A DIMLY LIT SODA HALL 320 – Tears and cries surrounded the halls of Berkeley early Wednesday morning. CS students and professors alike mourned the …
URGENT: Does Anyone Have a Blue Book I Can Borrow?
As a professional journalist, it would be both unethical and irresponsible of me to use this platform to amplify my own personal matters – but …
Professor Offers Extra Credit to Students Who Fail Midterm in Costume
BERKELEY, Calif.– Students enrolled in ECON 100B, Cobalt and Child Labor: A Match Made in Heaven, were dismayed to learn that their midterm would be …
Professor Crawls Out of His Own Asshole to Hold Your Midterm a Day After Halloween
BERKELEY, Calif. – For the majority of mischievous adult adolescents far and wide, the final days of October are a time for using silly brainiac …