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Everything Your Relatives Fear About Berkeley

Posted on March 25, 2023March 26, 2023 by: Abhi Ganesh

‘Ryanair Is SO Cheap’ and 2 Other Ways to Act Like Your Spring Break in Europe Hasn’t Put You in Financial Ruin

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Category: Berkeley

Posted on May 6, 2022 by: Shane Pauker

Recycling, Compost, Landfill: All End Up in the Mighty Mouth of Korbulon the Destroyer Anyway

BERKELEY, Calif. — Environmental activist groups were shocked to learn that Berkeley’s recycling, compost, and landfill waste bins all end up in the same place: …

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Posted on May 5, 2022May 5, 2022 by: Valmic Mukund

Top Ten Pirate Shanties to Listen to This Argh Argh Argh Week

Ahoy, ye blue-and-yellow-bellied scallywags! Argh Argh Argh week is upon us! Lest ye wish to walk the plank, celebrate by belting out these festive shanties …

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Posted on May 4, 2022 by: Shane Pauker

Friend With Car Probably Has Other Traits

BERKELEY, Calif. — Although Cal junior Dave Mills is best known for his 2011 Honda Fit (sport model), his friends report that he may have …

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Posted on May 3, 2022May 3, 2022 by: Ajay Madala

Best of Berkeley 2022

Although it’s only May, we feel it is the appropriate time to give recommendations for the best Berkeley sites of 2022. We are incredibly privileged …

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Posted on April 29, 2022 by: Shane Pauker

How to Block Out the Sound of Your Stepdad Railing Your Mom

Listen. I get that mom’s been lonely since dad disappeared. I’m happy that she’s putting herself out there. Alden treats her well and is good …

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Posted on April 29, 2022April 29, 2022 by: Courtney Yee

I Gave DuoMobile All My Cookies to Sign In and Now I Don’t Have Any Left for My Mouse

If you need to verify your identity, you will need to sign in with DuoMobile. When you open DuoMobile, it says you will have to …

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Posted on April 28, 2022April 28, 2022 by: The Free Peach

Fraternity Kappa Alpha Order Hosts Diversity Training in Robert E. Lee Conference Room

Content Warning: This article contains content discussing Confederate Army generals, slavery, the Klu Klux Klan, and more generally, white men being racist pieces of shit.  …

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Posted on April 27, 2022April 27, 2022 by: amychakladar

Twitter Now Owned by The Free Peach After We Got It for Free on the App Store

BERKELEY, Calif. — In a surprise twist of surprising events, the social media platform “Twitter” is under new management after The Free Peach purchased it …

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Posted on April 23, 2022 by: Shane Pauker

Campus Curbs Spread of Misinformation by Simply Not Providing Any Information

BERKELEY, Calif. — In an attempt to limit the spread of potential misinformation regarding yesterday’s campus-wide threat, UC Berkeley administrators announced that, going forward, they …

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Posted on April 21, 2022 by: Tohar Zamir

BREAKING: Everybody Knows You’re High Right Now

BERKELEY, Calif. – Dude, bad news–everyone can totally tell that you’re higher than Leonardo DiCaprio’s personal maximum for age gaps right now. Yes dude, I’m …

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