Watching The Bachelor is a great way to escape the constant existential dread that being a student at Cal constantly forces upon all of us. We at The Free Peach wanted to find a way to make watching the show an even more heinous event, so here’s a drinking game for any watch party! Side effects may include but are not limited to: blacking out and alcohol poisoning. Contact your health professional if any of these occur. Safety first, Bears!

1 shot:

  1. Every time Tayshia mentions that she’s from Orange County
  2. Every time Chris Harrison comes in during the middle of the episode
  3. Any mention of a peach
  4. I aM a ViRgIn
  5. Any showering scene
  6. Every time you find yourself hating Colton
  7. If you ever question if Tayshia is really from Orange County
  8. If you are from Orange County
  9. If they bring back an ex of anyone left on the show
  10. If Tayshia wears orange

2 shots:

  1. If there’s a shot of Cassie’s face without her saying anything
  2. Any time that Colton says that “this is what scares him the most”
  3. If you say the name “Demi” at all during the episode
  4. When anyone cries
  5. If somehow one week has allowed Colton to go from “falling in love” to “madly in love” with someone
  6. Double that if he says that about one of the white girls
  7. Every time someone says something remotely intelligent
  8. If Hannah G talks about her job, content creating

Miscellaneous:

  1. Slap the person to your right in the face if someone says that “opening up is hard” for them
  2. Finish a fifth WHEN Colton finally hops the fence
  3. Drink the blood of a mortal enemy if Colton finds a way to only let the white girls into the final even though Tayshia is from Orange County
  4. Finish your drink, then go to the store buy another drink and finish that, if Colton somehow actually proposes to someone he’s gone on, like, three dates with and known over the span of six weeks

Okay, now that you are substantially drunk because of the blinding predictability of America’s favorite reality TV show, think about your reasoning for watching. It makes you hate yourself, right? Whatever! See you next season, we’re sure that we’ll be doing the same thing next time around anyway.

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