Following her appearance at a Pride event for her father, Tiffany Trump came under fire for her general asshattery and lack of knowledge about the …
Presidential Debate Drinking Game
Drink whenever you feel dread. Trump says they’re gonna take our guns! Shotgun a beer. Take a shot every time Joe Biden references a time …
Ellen Degeneres’ Teleprompter Speaks Out
LOS ANGELES — Following the airing of the first episode of Season 18 of “Ellen” yesterday morning, Ellen Degeneres’ teleprompter spoke out about the abuse …
Improv Team Member Proves Worth Through Cameo on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
After many uncomfortable months of seeking validation, an improv actor at the University of California, Berkeley named Katie Jones has proved her worth through making …
Pete Buttigieg Reveals He is a Reptile After Shocking Win in Iowa
BREAKING: After beating out Bernie Sanders in the Iowa Caucus, Pete Buttigieg announced that he is, in fact, an interstellar lizard wearing a human skin …
Literally Fuck The Bachelor
Honestly, I was going to write another article about Cal Greek life, per my usual authorial persona, but I watched Monday night’s episode of The …
Opinion: This is a Shoes-On Household
Listen up, you little shit. You may have heard of the time and true tradition of a “shoes-off” household, so I am going to blow your fucking mind with this one.
BREAKING: Kanye West Still Included in your Aunt Karen’s list of Satanist Influences Despite Upcoming Release of “Jesus is King” Album
Kanye West never responded to our email requesting a comment. Updates will be added if he chooses to respond. Your Aunt Karen will maintain her commenting regardless, though.
Black Out for the Black Out: A PG&E Inspired Drinking Game
Hey fuckers! There are no classes tomorrow, so let’s do what any responsible Golden Bear should: drink! Here’s a great drinking game that allows you to fully participate in UC Berkeley’s binge culture while celebrating the incompetence of PG&E.
First Straws, Now Juuls – What’s Left to Suck On?
Straws revolutionized the way that people experienced drinking, and soon we couldn’t get enough of the sensation. We suck on straws, cigarettes, dicks, lollipops, and whatever else we can.