Drink whenever you feel dread. Trump says they’re gonna take our guns! Shotgun a beer. Take a shot every time Joe Biden references a time …
Literally Fuck The Bachelor
Honestly, I was going to write another article about Cal Greek life, per my usual authorial persona, but I watched Monday night’s episode of The …
Opinion: This is a Shoes-On Household
Listen up, you little shit. You may have heard of the time and true tradition of a “shoes-off” household, so I am going to blow your fucking mind with this one.
Frozen 2: Man Arrested for Having Sex with Olaf Doll in a Supermarket
The Olaf doll was promptly destroyed after the Florida man’s acts, sending a signal to Floridians statewide that doing things like that is not okay.
BREAKING: Kanye West Still Included in your Aunt Karen’s list of Satanist Influences Despite Upcoming Release of “Jesus is King” Album
Kanye West never responded to our email requesting a comment. Updates will be added if he chooses to respond. Your Aunt Karen will maintain her commenting regardless, though.
Black Out for the Black Out: A PG&E Inspired Drinking Game
Hey fuckers! There are no classes tomorrow, so let’s do what any responsible Golden Bear should: drink! Here’s a great drinking game that allows you to fully participate in UC Berkeley’s binge culture while celebrating the incompetence of PG&E.
BREAKING: Spike In Incest Porn Popularity After The Release of Frozen 2 Trailer
The clues are all there. In the new trailer, Anna and Elsa are shown venturing into the “Forbidden Forest.” You know what else is considered “forbidden”? INCEST!
First Straws, Now Juuls – What’s Left to Suck On?
Straws revolutionized the way that people experienced drinking, and soon we couldn’t get enough of the sensation. We suck on straws, cigarettes, dicks, lollipops, and whatever else we can.
BREAKING: 30-50 Feral Hogs are rushing Cal Sororities. Will They Be Able to Defend Themselves?
However, many have questioned whether the threat of the hogs exists at all, as GreekRank has reportedly “routinely misrepresented” houses in the past.
Do You Have Regular Herpes Or Coachella Herpes?
Normal Herpes is exactly what you know Herpes to already be, while Coachella Herpes can be identified by cold sores with floppy hats on or obscene amounts of glitter in the genital region. Take this quiz to figure out if you have normal Herpes or Coachella Herpes!