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‘Ryanair Is SO Cheap’ and 2 Other Ways to Act Like Your Spring Break in Europe Hasn’t Put You in Financial Ruin

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Tag: Sam MacKinnon

Posted on September 30, 2020September 11, 2021 by: Amanda Mier

Presidential Debate Drinking Game

Drink whenever you feel dread. Trump says they’re gonna take our guns! Shotgun a beer. Take a shot every time Joe Biden references a time …

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Posted on February 6, 2020February 6, 2020 by: Sam MacKinnon

Literally Fuck The Bachelor

Honestly, I was going to write another article about Cal Greek life, per my usual authorial persona, but I watched Monday night’s episode of The …

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Posted on December 18, 2019February 5, 2020 by: Sam MacKinnon

Opinion: This is a Shoes-On Household

Listen up, you little shit. You may have heard of the time and true tradition of a “shoes-off” household, so I am going to blow your fucking mind with this one. 

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Posted on November 15, 2019 by: The Free Peach

Frozen 2: Man Arrested for Having Sex with Olaf Doll in a Supermarket

The Olaf doll was promptly destroyed after the Florida man’s acts, sending a signal to Floridians statewide that doing things like that is not okay.

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Posted on October 23, 2019May 12, 2021 by: Sam MacKinnon

BREAKING: Kanye West Still Included in your Aunt Karen’s list of Satanist Influences Despite Upcoming Release of “Jesus is King” Album

Kanye West never responded to our email requesting a comment. Updates will be added if he chooses to respond. Your Aunt Karen will maintain her commenting regardless, though. 

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Posted on October 9, 2019September 11, 2021 by: Sam MacKinnon

Black Out for the Black Out: A PG&E Inspired Drinking Game

Hey fuckers! There are no classes tomorrow, so let’s do what any responsible Golden Bear should: drink! Here’s a great drinking game that allows you to fully participate in UC Berkeley’s binge culture while celebrating the incompetence of PG&E. 

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Posted on September 26, 2019 by: The Free Peach

BREAKING: Spike In Incest Porn Popularity After The Release of Frozen 2 Trailer

The clues are all there. In the new trailer, Anna and Elsa are shown venturing into the “Forbidden Forest.” You know what else is considered “forbidden”? INCEST!

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Posted on September 18, 2019May 13, 2021 by: Sam MacKinnon

First Straws, Now Juuls – What’s Left to Suck On?

Straws revolutionized the way that people experienced drinking, and soon we couldn’t get enough of the sensation. We suck on straws, cigarettes, dicks, lollipops, and whatever else we can.

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Posted on August 31, 2019May 12, 2021 by: Sam MacKinnon

BREAKING: 30-50 Feral Hogs are rushing Cal Sororities. Will They Be Able to Defend Themselves?

However, many have questioned whether the threat of the hogs exists at all, as GreekRank has reportedly “routinely misrepresented” houses in the past.

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Posted on May 3, 2019May 12, 2021 by: Sam MacKinnon

Do You Have Regular Herpes Or Coachella Herpes?

Normal Herpes is exactly what you know Herpes to already be, while Coachella Herpes can be identified by cold sores with floppy hats on or obscene amounts of glitter in the genital region. Take this quiz to figure out if you have normal Herpes or Coachella Herpes!

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