“We promise that this will never happen again because while we’re not going to address the deep-rooted homophobia and toxic masculinity in our organization, you can be damn-well sure we’ll be quieter next time!”
“We actually lost a lot of money doing this event,” claimed (ΒΜΠ) Philanthropy chair Trevor Blench, “the sand cost us like $7,000. It seems a little ridiculous in hindsight when there is a perfectly good beach volleyball court a few blocks away. But fuck it, now we have sand in our backyard how epic is that! So much beer die and Spikeball opportunity.”
Normal Herpes is exactly what you know Herpes to already be, while Coachella Herpes can be identified by cold sores with floppy hats on or obscene amounts of glitter in the genital region. Take this quiz to figure out if you have normal Herpes or Coachella Herpes!
I’m waiting, Milton. What do you have to say for yourself?
The 1st of May always means one thing: Finals Season has begun. Dead Week and Finals Week are right around the corner and students are …
Fear not, we’ve come up with 10 unique ways to convey your 14% attendance rate to your GSI, Marvin.
But also, I’m like, leaving for study abroad in the fall so if someone wants to take over my lease that would be chill. DM for details.
Not to worry! Here are some things you can do with your newfound disqualification from the ASUC!
The biggest cinema event of a generation came out this week! Here’s what you need to know before you watch!
I realize that my implicit association of the concept of jihad with the acts of political violence I will definitely inflict on you if you don’t fill out your course evaluation has the ultimate effect of fostering links between Islam and terrorism. As you have guessed, I don’t care, because I am Islamophobic.