The biggest cinema event of a generation came out this week! Here’s what you need to know before you watch!

  1. Harry Is a Horcrux.
  2. The Cleveland Indians blew a 3-1 lead in the World Series.
  3. I dropped the screw in the tuna.
  4. Y’all, holy shit, Tony Stark has been Iron Man all this time and he never told anyone!
  6. Now that he’s playing the main character of the first Valiant Cinematic Universe movie, Vin Diesel insisted on changing all his lines from “I am Groot” to “I am Bloodshot.”
  7. Black Widow was actually supposed to be Asian, but then Scarlett Johansson somehow got the part.
  8. Nobody who genuinely likes the Iron Fist Netflix series has ever gotten laid!
  9. The plot of Endgame revolves around finding and using the newly-discovered Merchandise Stone, which revives anyone Marvel can’t actually kill off because they already gave away that they’re doing a movie about them.
  10. The film prominently features no less than seven hard-boiled eggs.
  11. Thanos is actually Cable, and he infiltrated the MCU and killed everybody off because he’s mad that Fox’s X-Men movie franchise will end soon.
  12. The MCU has filmed scenes at Cal, but not Stanford, proving that Cal is the superior school.
  13. On June 28, 1914, Archduke Franz Ferdinand was assassinated by Gavrilo Princip in Sarajevo, setting off a series of events that would culminate in World War I, the largest and bloodiest conflict the known to man.

Wow! These facts are wild! No need to watch the 21 other films, when you have this quick brushup. 

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