“I couldn’t keep myself from fattening, roasting, and devouring every single child that happened upon my gingerbread house as soon as they fell for my trap. I had terrible impulse control, and it was starting to affect my cholesterol.”
Category Archive: Local News
The biggest cinema event of a generation came out this week! Here’s what you need to know before you watch!
Donald Glover and Childish Gambino!?!!?!?!
Kelsey knew she wanted to do something to show she cared. “I had all these photos from my family vacation to France last summer, have I told you about that? It was such a good trip, we went to Paris, I ate so much food!”
Don’t you fucking judge me, okay? Look, I’m like super woke. I went to the women’s march.
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“You know, we’re used to being marginalized, but I was still surprised that we were so underrated in the college drinking scene. It’s straight up prejudice!”
Potterheads rejoice! J.K. Rowling revealed in a Twitter thread last night that Hagrid, the beloved groundskeeper of Hogwarts in the globally-acclaimed Harry Potter series, is pro-Palestine.
But the FBI recently released a report detailing what anyone could learn from literally a single episode of Gossip Girl: some people don’t earn their way to the top.
After her parents spent half a million dollars to buy her a spot at USC, it’s important to make her application transparent!