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Opinion: I’m Not a Job Hunter, I’m a Job Gatherer

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Month: October 2025

Posted on October 30, 2025 by: Charlie McDonald

“Let’s Do an SF Halloween Bar Crawl!” and 10 Other Plans that Won’t Make it out of the Group Chat

BERKELEY, Calif. – In a once-thriving, high BAC fueled economy, Halloween was the pinnacle of profit among bartenders and club managers in San Francisco. However, …

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Posted on October 29, 2025October 29, 2025 by: The Free Peach

Local Student Co-Op Threatens to Throw Halloween Party

BERKELEY, Calif. – Earlier this week on Monday, UC Berkeley students were rattled by the release of a rather daunting Instagram post. A local student …

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Posted on October 27, 2025 by: Stella Robinson-Rosendorff

Loser Freshman Still Doesn’t Have Date for Homecoming

BERKELEY, Calif.– While the brothers at AEPi are getting moms drunk at seven A.M. this morning, mega loser freshman Tommy Tinklepants woke up to the …

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Posted on October 14, 2025October 27, 2025 by: The Free Peach

Campus Bathrooms to Now Require Two Factor Authentication

BERKELEY, Calif – News from top Berkeley officials broke late last week about the implementation of a new widespread campus policy. In line with the …

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Posted on October 8, 2025 by: Veronica Chen

Progressive Win! Fraternity to Replace Bid System with Weight List

BERKELEY, Calif. –  The Theta Meta Feta Fraternity has been receiving attention for their most recent pronouncement which has sparked both praise and outrage in …

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Posted on October 2, 2025 by: Anna Galler

OPINION: Everyone Except Me Should Stop Raising Their Hand in Lecture

While not a professional yapper myself, I do dabble in endeavors like these, where I write on Instagram for attention, so I feel qualified enough …

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