Berkeley

10 Things You Can Finally Do Now That You’ve Been Disqualified from the ASUC Senate

Not to worry! Here are some things you can do with your newfound disqualification from the ASUC!

Those censures got you down? The failure of your political party bumming you out? Sad about the fact that the biggest thing in your life, the org into which you have put so much time, energy, blood, sweat, and tears, has totally and utterly rejected you? Not to worry! Here are some things you can do with your newfound disqualification from the ASUC!

10.)  Actually, commit the crime you were disqualified for and steal money from the ASUC.

That’ll show em!

9.) Unfriend your freshman year roommate.

Be honest, you only really kept them around as a vote anyway.

8.) Never show your face in fucking Eshleman ever again.

It’s arguably one of the worst buildings on campus.

7.) Have the same impact on campus as you did when you were a senator.

Isn’t that neat?!

6.) Go on Facebook without seeing your own face plastered everywhere.

That seems nice! We were tired of it too.

5.) Maybe like, have a real genuine human conversation?

You can talk to people now! Without campaigning!

4.) Send as many emails as you want.

Just go absolutely wild, there’s actually no limit to how many you can send when you’re just a normal student.

3.) Spend those extra $964 that just… mysteriously appeared in your bank account…

Not sure how that got there…

2.) Be subpoenaed in a real-life court of law with actual consequences.

Oops.

10.  Fuck it, you could apply for judicial council.

Wait are apps still open?

 

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