Berkeley

I Didn’t Find Housing In Time, So Now I Live In The Cartoon Depression Hole From The Abilify Commercial

But also, I’m like, leaving for study abroad in the fall so if someone wants to take over my lease that would be chill. DM for details.

Yes, I lived it. I didn’t find housing in time, so now I have to live in the cartoon depression hole from the Abilify commercial. This is my story.

I was just like you once. Young, carefree. Tight. I thought that I was invincible. Immortal. That nothing — not even the Bay Area Housing Crisis — could cut me down in my prime. I was Icarus, and the cartoon depression hole from the Abilify commercial, the Sun. The seasons passed— the falling leaves of autumn, the harsh winds of winter, the thick dew of spring, littered at my feet like so many Juul pods.

And there I was, standing alone in the evening dusk. Catatonic, recalcitrant. A shell of my former self. That was when I understood what I must do. I sought out the cartoon depression hole from the Abilify commercial. In truth, I can’t tell you if I found the cartoon depression hole from the Abilify commercial or if the cartoon depression hole from the Abilify commercial found me.

He— yes, the cartoon depression hole from the Abilify commercial uses he/him pronouns— he charges me $950 in rent every month to inhabit his astral projection. It is not rent-controlled. If the cartoon depression hole from the Abilify commercial were to pursue litigation against me for being an unlawful detainer, I would have no rights as a tenant, because, as I have stated, I live in a cartoon depression hole, and not an apartment. The Superior Courts of this county cannot offer me justice.

But also, I’m like, leaving for study abroad in the fall so if someone wants to take over my lease that would be chill. DM for details.

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