ANY COLLEGE IN AMERICA, USA — With Halloween fast approaching, young men and women all over the country are putting the finishing touches on their costumes for the long weekend. Within the sea of sexy flight attendants, bugs, and Party City wig-wearers, one costume piece stands out for Caucasian Halloweekenders everywhere– the famed Amazon corset.
If you’re living under a rock, and are not aware of the Amazon corset already, it is a striking staple piece for white women celebrating Halloween. For years (how long has Amazon been around again?), this article of clothing has held deep cultural significance for the white population.
“I think the Amazon corset is more than part of a costume,” student and partygoer Sarah Smith states. “It is a reminder that white American culture is still alive and well.”
Smith is right– white women everywhere have found camaraderie in the Amazon corset, proving that it is still possible to maintain cultural identity under late stage capitalism. Even when that means adding to the landfill en masse, the significance the article holds outrules any silly “overconsumption” claim.
“I truly do believe that the [Amazon] corset is an item of cultural clothing for white women,” Smith adds. “I personally have owned several in the past. It’s kind of like a hijab or a dupatta, but for white American women. Wait, don’t add that in. Can we scrap that last part?”
In a way, the Amazon corset holds a seasonal cultural value similar to that of the Pumpkin Spice Latte, or the tan Ugg boot. It is a symbol of shared heritage. At press time, Free Peach reporters are getting cancelled for this article on finsta stories all over Instagram.