SAN FRANCISCO, Calif. – In a time when LGBTQ+ rights are under attack by policymakers and elected officials, local straight white woman Mackenzie Thompson attended …
Professor Offers Penalty Kicks in Lieu of Final Exam
BERKELEY, Calif.– Much to the surprise of students enrolled in GLBL 187, “Bullshit Exams and their Cultural Heritage,” Friday the 12th presented an unexpected subversion …
Crime Does Not Pay; I Only Make 100k a Year as a UCPD Officer
Take it from me kids, crime does not pay. No matter how many cars I ticket or unhoused people I harass, I’m stuck in this …
Horrific: This Social Media Company That Steals User Data Isn’t Even American
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The future of TikTok looks uncertain after a rigorous congressional hearing Thursday revealed that the user-data-stealing social media company isn’t even American.
Chick Magnet? Five Bible Study Groups Asked For My Number
I know, even I’m shocked. In a place as gloom and doom as UC Berkeley, it’s hard to attract people organically nowadays. I’ve tried every …
REI Carabiner Not Strong Enough to Keep This Lesbian Couple Together
BERKELEY, Calif. — Berkeley sophomore and distinguished lesbian Gloria Bilitis was seen crying earlier today at the Berkeley Ironworks Climbing Gym after having a literal …
SUPERB Updates Crowd Control Measures by Promising That All Future Performances Will Only Feature Nickelback
BERKELEY, Calif.— Following a severe failure at crowd control during their Soulja Boy concert last Friday, ASUC SUPERB has promised to update their crowd control …
UC Regents Hire Michael Drake’s New Stepbrother, Michael Josh
SAN DIEGO – UC Regents assembled at UCSD on Monday, prepared to deliver paradigm-shattering news to current UC faculty. Without hesitation, Regent Chair Rich Leib …
Free Peach Advice: How Do I Deal With a Horrible Co-leader on a Team?
I joined a consulting club semesters ago and now I am one of the head officers on the core team. Unfortunately, I am utterly disgusted by my co-leader on the team on every level. What should I do?