BERKELEY, Calif.— After decades upon decades of investigation into the smell of the Recreational Sports Facility (RSF) Weight Room, A team of UC Berkeley Chemists …
Frat Brothers Switch To Hazing By Journaling And Meditating
BERKELEY, Calif. – “At first, I was like…nah Berk… this is too tough on us” slurred president Will Beckham of Kappa Alpha Order. “We only …
Stanford Debuts Innovative New DEI Strategy
STANFORD, Calif. — This past week, Stanford University in Palo Alto debuted their newest method of implementing DEI in campus photography– AI. Rather than …
Haas Students Taken Aback By Number Of Coloring Pages Assigned
BERKELEY, Calif. – As the Berkeley student body settles into their new classes for the Fall semester, it’s no surprise to most that some professors …
Report: If Your Child Doesn’t Know These Words by 6 Months, You Should Get Them Tested
We here at The Free Peach are proud supporters of Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and are actively researching new ways to support childhood development, MAHA …
Professor Reminds Class Attendance is Mandatory to Puff Puff Pass the Class
BERKELEY, Calif – On the eve of 4/20, Berkeley Professor Stic Ler issued a bCourses announcement for his EECS “Intro to Good and Bad For …
Noah Uses Doorlist for Ark
MOUNTAINS OF ARARAT, Eastern Anatolia –Following Thursday’s sudden flash flood warnings, local people and animals have been scrambling to find transit out of Ararat. Rather …
5 Ways Men Supported Me During Women’s History Month
With Women’s History Month now done, I wanted to share my favorite ways men have displayed their support towards me as a woman. As everyone …
U.S. Stages Military Intervention in Mexico By Deploying Frat Brothers to Cabo
CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico – In efforts to project American freedom, the Trump administration has decided to begin conflict in yet another foreign country albeit …
Trump Confused by Lack of Eid al-Fitr Invitations
BERKELEY, Calif. – After searching his email, letters, and Instagram messages constantly for the past month, Donald Trump realized no invitation was coming to welcome …