We here at The Free Peach are proud supporters of Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and are actively researching new ways to support childhood development, MAHA …
Professor Reminds Class Attendance is Mandatory to Puff Puff Pass the Class
BERKELEY, Calif – On the eve of 4/20, Berkeley Professor Stic Ler issued a bCourses announcement for his EECS “Intro to Good and Bad For …
Noah Uses Doorlist for Ark
MOUNTAINS OF ARARAT, Eastern Anatolia –Following Thursday’s sudden flash flood warnings, local people and animals have been scrambling to find transit out of Ararat. Rather …
5 Ways Men Supported Me During Women’s History Month
With Women’s History Month now done, I wanted to share my favorite ways men have displayed their support towards me as a woman. As everyone …
U.S. Stages Military Intervention in Mexico By Deploying Frat Brothers to Cabo
CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico – In efforts to project American freedom, the Trump administration has decided to begin conflict in yet another foreign country albeit …
Trump Confused by Lack of Eid al-Fitr Invitations
BERKELEY, Calif. – After searching his email, letters, and Instagram messages constantly for the past month, Donald Trump realized no invitation was coming to welcome …
Iran Threatens Drone Strike Over Timothée Chalamet Remarks
LOS ANGELES, Calif. – With the Oscars this Sunday, Iran has sworn retaliation on the United States surprisingly not after the unwarranted Israel-U.S. attack, but …
Rich Lyons FRAMEMOGGED by JESTERGOONING Cal Frat Leader
Following a serious altercation between protesting students and campus security, Rich Lyons was spotted walk-maxxing with females by SAE when he was brutally framemogged by …
UC Berkeley Celebrates Ranking over UCLA in the Epstein Files
BERKELEY, Calif – Upon the release of millions of files related to the ongoing investigation into billionaire and convicted sex-trafficker Jeffery Epstein’s estate, members of …
OPINION: Why I’ll Be Skipping the Super Bowl to Watch “Melania”
At first glance, the Superbowl is the highest form of American art: it has gambling, violence, advertising, and drunk Philadelphians. What’s not to love? However, …