BERKELEY, Calif.– Got stranded in a blasphemous frat bathroom and couldn’t stop pulling trig until 3 AM? Hookup gave you the boot from his place …
‘Your Pussy Flaps are Out!’ and Four Other Empowering Things to Tell Your Friend Wearing Their Shortest Mini-Skirt
We’ve all been there. You’re out on the town with your girls gays and theys rocking your skankiest outfit on the same day that you …
Opinion: There Should Be More Excuses to Drink on a Weekday
I think I speak for everyone when I say there should be more excuses to drink on a given weekday. Cultural drinking is quite honestly …
Inappropriate? CS Professor Makes ‘Do You Like-Like Me?’ Midterm Question Mandatory for Female Students
BERKELEY, Calif. – After making a sexist Ed post comment about “women’s behavior outside the Bay Area,” CS 189 professor Terry Smawldich doubled down by …
Opinion: If It’s the ‘Big Give,’ Why Isn’t it Giving?
I’d consider myself an expert on this, so I’ll say it: UC Berkeley’s “Big Give” just isn’t giving. Wandering campus daily to distract from …
Top Religious Authorities Rule that Shabbat Electronics Ban Doesn’t Apply to IDF
JERUSALEM — In the midst of the IDF’s continued onslaught of Gazan civilians on Saturday, top religious authorities have found that bombing men, women, and …
Chancellor Christ Vows to Keep Berkeley’s Historic Free Speech Legacy Historical
BERKELEY, Calif. — Following student protests outside of a planned event featuring anti-Palestinian speaker and IDF soldier Ran Bar-Yoshafat, Chancellor Carol Christ sent an email to the …
BART Unveils New Plan to Prevent Turnstile Hoppers Through Use of Fearsome Troll
BERKELEY, Calif. – On January 11th, 2024, BART announced a new plan to thwart pesky turnstile hoppers through the employment of a blood-curdling, spine-chilling troll …
Opinion: I’m Celebrating This Weekend With a Super Bowl
Gather around the couch, make your favorite snacks, and turn on the TV, because this weekend it’s time for the super bowl. Wait, what’s this …
Update: God Misinterpreted My Prayers to ‘Get Soaked’
I seldom pray to God. The only times I’ve prayed to God have been: during college admissions decisions, before confronting my parents about my childhood …