SAN DIEGO – UC Regents assembled at UCSD on Monday, prepared to deliver paradigm-shattering news to current UC faculty. Without hesitation, Regent Chair Rich Leib …
Doctors Hate Her! This Woman Punches Doctors
SAN FRANCISCO – Recent reports have surfaced detailing a woman hated by doctors for reasons entirely unrelated to anti-aging secrets or defiance of traditional medical …
Free Peach Advice: How Do I Deal With a Horrible Co-leader on a Team?
I joined a consulting club semesters ago and now I am one of the head officers on the core team. Unfortunately, I am utterly disgusted by my co-leader on the team on every level. What should I do?
Heartwarming! Nation’s Political Leadership Overcomes Bitter Partisan Division to Fuck Over Rail Workers
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a miraculous gesture of bipartisanship, elected officials of both major political parties managed to put aside their differences to force rail …
I Wrote This Article to Give You a Break From Jokes About Spotify Wrapped
I know what you’re expecting: that this article about not making a joke about Spotify wrapped is just going to be a long winded way of making a joke about Spotify wrapped. But worry not, dear reader, I am not here to torment you. I am here to give you respite, a blanket and a cup of tea. I am here to say: welcome to a safe space. A haven, if you will, away from the constant and seemingly never ending barrage of funny silly tweets about Spotify wrapped.
New Study Finds You Should Lick Your Salt Lamp at Least Thrice a Day for Proper Maintenance
BERKELEY, Calif. — A new study put out by the UC Berkeley Department of Public Health has determined that despite what your bitchy roomate has …
‘It’s Giving Birth,’ Reports Midwife TikTok Influencer
BERKELEY, Calif. — In the Northside Safeway earlier today, 32-year old Uma Bilikel’s water broke while grocery shopping. The 9-months pregnant woman was picking up …
REPORT: I’m Working on Myself in Order to get Someone Else’s Attention
BERKELEY, Calif. – U.C. Berkeley senior Kendra Paltrow (no relation) has changed a lot since Freshman year. She’s picked up meditation, no longer cuts her …
Shit: More People Think They Deserve Rights
BERKELEY, Calif. – In an unforeseen turn of events, yet another group of people who have been treated unfairly now think they deserve to not …
OPINION: Sacramento Is Important
Word is in guys: Sacramento is super important. I mean this state, this country, couldn’t function without the socio-economic powerhouse that is Sac-town. You know …