This morning, at approximately 9:43 am, I started to feel a slight cramp in my lower left tummy area. I wondered if it was due to the IB’s philly cheesesteak I had for breakfast, or maybe the large glass of whole milk I washed it down with. Regardless, it was probably going to be totally fine. So I ignored it.
Pretty soon, however, one small cramp turned into a full-on tummy ache. I emailed my CS professor to let him know that in my weakened condition, I would never be able to fully devote myself to the beauty and joy of computing that I so dearly love. All that beauty and joy that is computer science, why, it would go to waste. I have a tummy ache, for crying out loud! I would of course give anything to be healthy and able to appreciate the wonder of typing random bits of code into my computer today. But alas, I cannot.
I was shocked and devastated to receive my professor’s response. Apparently, “a tummy ache is not a valid reason to miss class,” and I “still need to be present at 11:00 am.” I am also supposed to “refrain from providing a detailed breakdown of all the dairy elements [I’ve] consumed that day” in my emails. Apparently that is “inappropriate.”
Dismayed, I began my search for someone, any kind soul, to care about the growing disaster in my belly region. I somehow survived the devastating three story climb down the stairs of my apartment building, clutching the wooden railing with each step. I stepped outside into the blinding sun on University and sank deeper into the horribly lonely abyss into which I had suddenly fallen.
All these people in the world and not one stopped to care about the tummy ache of their neighbor, their fellow human. People on the street brushed past me, busy with their lives, forgetting their humanity as they ignored the suffering so blatant in front of them.
It was then 10:32 am. I had to leave for class soon. As that realization dawned on me, my devastation pulled me to my knees on the sidewalk. I am writing this now, 10:36 am. I am still on my knees on University, desperately scrawling this manifesto in the notes app on my phone. If I don’t make it, let these, my last words, make their way to the public and let the public know that today, they lost a brave soldier. (But also if someone brought me some Tums or something I might be fine?)