April Fool’s Day! Our favorite holiday of the year. Nothing says “LOL” like telling your boyfriend Jack that you’re over, and then saying April Fool’s, then him being like “no, I think this is the right path for us.” Anyway, here’s 40 Quirky April Fools Jokes!

  1. Put ice in your sister’s socks.
  2. Put salt in all the water glasses of your childhood home.
  3. Break into your childhood home.
  4. Scare the people who now live in your childhood home.
  5. Poison your classmate’s boba.
  6. Delete everything in your group project’s Google Drive.
  7. Steal your friend’s credit card, rent a hotel room, eat/drink everything in the mini-fridge while renting 15 movies and 10 N64 games.
  8. Call your mom.
  9. Tell your boyfriend you have chlamydia.
  10. Purchase some heroin, put it in your roommate’s backpack and then tip off the police.
  11. Make your friend insecure about their hairline.
  12. Learn to code.
  13. Go to your GSI’s office hours!
    1. Tell them you really enjoy their class
    2. Make them cry
    3. Laugh about it together because it’s April Fool’s Day
  14. Share a Daily Clog article and encourage your friends to read it.
    1. For example: Write six articles about Steve Carell
  15. Pretend to find a mistake in your friend’s tattoo.
  16. Un-enroll your friend from Berkeley while they’re using the restroom.
    1. While you have access to their laptop, might as well edit their Sociology presentation powerpoint so it’s just a bunch of deepfakes of Former President Jimmy Carter in the nude.
  17. Text someone you hooked up with two years ago, “I’m Pregnant!”
  18. Join Epsilon Eta.
  19. Crash your car.
  20. Write for The Free Peach.
  21. Pay $60,000 to attend an institution where you skip most classes and spend most days drinking and getting high, then complain when you don’t have a good GPA or a job.
  22. Tell a senator you would love it if they walked you to class, then walk down to the Berkeley Marina.
  23. Run for ASUC Senate.
  24. Go appreciate the super bloom by laying in the flowers to take nice photos, killing hundreds of flowers, but it’s okay because you got a great shot for your Instagram!
  25. Replace every song in your friend’s favorite Spotify playlist with “Break Stuff” by Limp Bizkit.
  26. Learn how to play the Trombone.
  27. Age 25 years:
    1. Get married.
    2. Have a child.
    3. Secretly pay $500,000 dollars to a fake charity started by a fake college admissions adviser so that he’ll photoshop your child’s face onto a picture of someone rowing mid-crew tournament.
    4. Discreetly bribe an SAT proctor to inflate your child’s test score after they’re done with the test.
    5. Successfully get your child into USC, Yale, UCLA, Wake Forest, Stanford, or other elite university and brag about it to your upper-class friends.
    6. Get your rich friends to do the same for their kids.
    7. Tip off the FBI to expose scandal on April Fools Day, bringing everybody down with you in a catastrophic blaze of infamy.
    8. Text your child “April Fools! You didn’t get into college on your own merits but that’s okay because Mommy and Daddy are rich!”
  28. Join a cult.
    1. Become the leader of the cult.
    2. Direct the cult to covertly infiltrate the IRS.
  29. Join an improv team.
  30. Watch 30 episodes of The Office.
  31. SIR to UC Merced.
  32. Have sex with your friend’s mom.
    1. And their dad.
    2. Right in front of them.
  33. Put laxatives in some cookies and give them to your class.
  34. Study.
  35. Study abroad.
  36. Study with Bob.
  37. Eat some corn on the cob.
  38. Drink alcohol before you’re 21! Just kidding don’t do that! That’s illegal.
  39. Allow BCR to coopt free speech and strongarm you into letting Milo come speak on campus and then contract BPD to secure campus with 500 officers while he’s here to the tune of over a million dollars.
  40. Poop everywhere

LOL! These jokes are a surefire way to make all your friend’s laugh on April Fool’s Day! Also, Jack, seriously can we get back together? It was an April Fool’s joke!  

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