BERKELEY, Calif. – The Theta Meta Feta Fraternity has been receiving attention for their most recent pronouncement which has sparked both praise and outrage in …
OPINION: Everyone Except Me Should Stop Raising Their Hand in Lecture
While not a professional yapper myself, I do dabble in endeavors like these, where I write on Instagram for attention, so I feel qualified enough …
Stanford Medical School Loses Key Funding After Grad Student Fucks up Brussels Conference
STANFORD, Calif. — Stanford University School of Medicine’s recent $55 million dollar donation is in jeopardy following gross misconduct of a graduate student at the …
Graduating Rausser Student Tosses Out Confetti Alongside All Principles
BERKELEY, Calif. — After four hard years of studying the environment and why it is important to protect, graduating Rausser student Talullah Messmacher commemorated her …
‘I Don’t Think the P-Value Is Significant at All,’ Says Stat 20 Student Drenched in Urine
BERKELEY, Calif.– At a recent Stat 20 final exam review session, freshman Bahd Kydnee enthusiastically answered “no” to a GSI’s question about whether the p-value …
Locked in? Hardworking Student Still Stuck in Moffitt
BERKELEY, Calif – Since the closure of Moffitt (fan-favorite yapping spot and alleged “library”), students around campus have been forced to procrastinate literally everywhere elsewhere. …
Schrodinger’s Senior Thesis? If I Haven’t Started, Does the Deadline Even Really Exist?
Ok, Ok, hear me out. I know I’m writing this in late April. So what? You’re probably saying, “oh, isn’t the deadline in like five …
Haas Students at Cafe Think Not Doing Any of That
BERKELEY, Calif. – After a hard day of scrolling Instagram reels, learning multiplication tables, and saying “synergy,” Haas students astounded the rest of the Berkeley …
Berkeley Co-op Rats Stage Crawl Out in Protest of Rent Increase
BERKELEY, Calif.– Following yet another controversial rent increase for the human Berkeley co-op residents, rodent residents of the co-ops are in an upsqeuak. Besides the …
Students at Cal Experience Unprecedented Situation At Every Event Ever
BERKELEY, Calif.– On a Sweltering Tuesday evening on the first Sunday of April 20th, students at Cal buzzing after a local figure who had a …