BERKELEY, Calif.– At a recent Stat 20 final exam review session, freshman Bahd Kydnee enthusiastically answered “no” to a GSI’s question about whether the p-value for a regression was less than 0.05 while absolutely sopping wet with urine.
“I just don’t think the p-value is low enough,” elaborated Kydnee, while dabbing his face with a rough, incredibly ineffective Evans bathroom paper towel. “Trust me, I have a lot of experience with pee being plentiful— and I can tell that the value for this regression is extremely high. I understand that my statement may be alarming because I walked in late (because of some previous engagements with bodily fluids) and read the board quickly, but I am confident in my answer. Perhaps, I may be a Good Will Hunting-type genius. I don’t know, just some pee for thought, I mean food for thought.”
Other students in the class did not necessarily disagree, but were still deeply alarmed by the incident.
“What the actual fuck was that?” exclaimed deskmate and forever traumatized individual Kevin Lahiri. “He got his fucking strange urine on me and now I smell like a rotten corpse that died again. That cannot be human urine, there were chunks of colors on him that I’ve never seen before. The kid next to me tried to find the hex codes to use for his ggplot graph, but RStudio could not comprehend them and it deleted itself from his desktop. I don’t think CAPS will be able to fix me after the horrors I’ve seen.”
At press time, authorities have followed the trail of Kydnee’s wet footprints all the way to the RSF swimming pool, where he reportedly went to “make that chlorine really work its magic.”