I don’t have sex with strangers or “smoke weed,” okay? I don’t need to. I have ringworm.
Straws revolutionized the way that people experienced drinking, and soon we couldn’t get enough of the sensation. We suck on straws, cigarettes, dicks, lollipops, and whatever else we can.
Hello. It is I, The Free Peach. You may have heard of me. If you haven’t, that’s okay. But if you’re reading this, chances are you have.
I don’t care about being rich or famous or any of that typical bullshit Satan promises. Certainly not enough to sacrifice Amanda, my eight-year-old daughter.
I’m waiting, Milton. What do you have to say for yourself?
I realize that my implicit association of the concept of jihad with the acts of political violence I will definitely inflict on you if you don’t fill out your course evaluation has the ultimate effect of fostering links between Islam and terrorism. As you have guessed, I don’t care, because I am Islamophobic.
If you too only have six brain cells left, read this article and share it with your friends!
I have no idea where this place is. In fact, I’ve strategically avoided asking where Li Ka Shing was for like, the entire time I’ve been on campus since 2015. FSM cafe? Been there. Moffitt? Been there. Li Ka Shing? Might as well be in Albany.
His head literally turns to ice and it’s not cute.
I probably should go to class. I haven’t been to the last two lectures. Or maybe it was the last three lectures. But, that was after the midterm so those ones don’t even really count as skipping because it’s like a free day.