top being posers and drink some $2 prosecco, you cretins, while I spray myself with Dom, handcuff a chick with real, police grade cuffs, and bask in the glorious French sun.
And it is due to that experience that I can no longer sit idly by as brothers of the Delta Kappa Epsilon Fraternity are stigmatized for their alleged goat-based paraphilia.
Sorry mom, but get an iPhone, or get the fuck out of my life.
However, there was one year that was the highlight of my time chaperoning: 2009. Why you may ask? Because that was the year that Taio Cruz released the song Dynamite, and changed the face of middle school dances for all of 2009.
It is the responsibility of this school to let any organization host events anytime, anywhere on campus at a moment’s notice, and failure to do so is a violation of the First Amendment, the Non-Aggression Principle, and our very civil rights.