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Posted on February 2, 2023February 3, 2023 by: Abby Fisher

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Category: The Pit

Posted on April 25, 2019May 12, 2021 by: Sam MacKinnon

What My Last Six Braincells Are Thinking After Coachella

If you too only have six brain cells left, read this article and share it with your friends!

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Posted on April 11, 2019May 13, 2021 by: The Free Peach

I Don’t Know Where Li Ka Shing Is, And I Don’t Care! (by that guy in your PoliSci class)

I have no idea where this place is. In fact, I’ve strategically avoided asking where Li Ka Shing was for like, the entire time I’ve been on campus since 2015. FSM cafe? Been there. Moffitt? Been there. Li Ka Shing? Might as well be in Albany.

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Posted on April 11, 2019September 11, 2021 by: Sammy Cornick

Report: Arnold’s Death On The Magic School Bus Is Responsible For Every Single Teenage & Young Adult Problem

His head literally turns to ice and it’s not cute.

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Posted on April 8, 2019May 13, 2021 by: The Free Peach

Should I Go To Lecture? (by you)

I probably should go to class. I haven’t been to the last two lectures. Or maybe it was the last three lectures. But, that was after the midterm so those ones don’t even really count as skipping because it’s like a free day.

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Posted on April 1, 2019May 13, 2021 by: The Free Peach

Canceled! Beto Caught Skating With Eric Sparrow

What the hell is wrong with you, Beto?

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Posted on April 1, 2019May 13, 2021 by: The Free Peach

If CalSERVE Is So Progressive, Why Won’t They Pay Me A Living Wage?

But the truth is, this problem is a systemic infection of the entire ASUC.

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Posted on March 21, 2019September 11, 2021 by: Sammy Cornick

I’m Better Than You Because I Drink Black Coffee

Frappuccinos are the Chris Christie of politics.

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Posted on March 11, 2019May 13, 2021 by: The Free Peach

Spaghetti Is The Worst Noodle And This Is Why (by Cal Dining)

The Following Argument is completely unbiased and objective.

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Posted on March 8, 2019February 6, 2020 by: Kelsey Ferrell

Mandela Effect Case Study: Didn’t UC Berkeley Use To Be Cool?

Is anyone else freaking out about this?

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Posted on March 1, 2019May 12, 2021 by: Amanda Mier

Opinion: It’s Technically Only ‘Shackles and Champagne’ if They’re From the Champagne Region of France. Otherwise, You Have to Call Them Sparkling Wine and Zip Ties.

top being posers and drink some $2 prosecco, you cretins, while I spray myself with Dom, handcuff a chick with real, police grade cuffs, and bask in the glorious French sun.

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Top Posts & Pages

  • Opinion: It’s Technically Only ‘Shackles and Champagne’ if They’re From the Champagne Region of France. Otherwise, You Have to Call Them Sparkling Wine and Zip Ties.
    Opinion: It’s Technically Only ‘Shackles and Champagne’ if They’re From the Champagne Region of France. Otherwise, You Have to Call Them Sparkling Wine and Zip Ties.
  • Berkeley Startup 'Tinder For Friends' Not Affiliated With Tinder, Also Not Affiliated With Friends
    Berkeley Startup 'Tinder For Friends' Not Affiliated With Tinder, Also Not Affiliated With Friends
  • Frank Ocean Emerges From Hiatus to Clarify That He Was Referring to Berkeley City College in Infamous "Novacane" Lyric
    Frank Ocean Emerges From Hiatus to Clarify That He Was Referring to Berkeley City College in Infamous "Novacane" Lyric
  • BREAKING: I Am Free This Saturday If Anyone Wants to Hang Out
    BREAKING: I Am Free This Saturday If Anyone Wants to Hang Out
  • Groundhog Eats Shadow; Message Unclear
    Groundhog Eats Shadow; Message Unclear
  • Opinion: Where The Fuck is Barker? 
    Opinion: Where The Fuck is Barker? 
  • Report: Arnold's Death On The Magic School Bus Is Responsible For Every Single Teenage & Young Adult Problem
    Report: Arnold's Death On The Magic School Bus Is Responsible For Every Single Teenage & Young Adult Problem
  • Savant Junior Who ‘Has a Lot of AP Credits’ and Is Graduating Early Crowned ‘World’s Smartest Man’
    Savant Junior Who ‘Has a Lot of AP Credits’ and Is Graduating Early Crowned ‘World’s Smartest Man’
  • In Right-Wing Tirade, Oski Defends Right to Bear Arms
    In Right-Wing Tirade, Oski Defends Right to Bear Arms
  • Fuck It! We Ranked All The Sororities at Cal Alphabetically!
    Fuck It! We Ranked All The Sororities at Cal Alphabetically!

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