Every semester, The Free Peach loses a few members to graduation and ritual sacrifice. Plus, when you consider that the writers are all aging (and therefore becoming less funny), we desperately need some new staff. Do you think you’re funny? Do your friends think you’re funny? Are you clamoring for a new creative outlet? Consider joining us! You don’t need satirical writing or drawing experience, you just need some good ideas and willingness to shoot your content into the void.
Q: Hello?
A: Hi there!
Q: It’s dark in here.
A: Let me turn on the light.
Q: Wh- where am I? Is this a hospital?
A: You were in a coma. That’s not important. The Free Peach is looking to hire new writers, social media contributors, artists, and marketing managers for our Spring 2022 hiring session!
Q: A coma? How long was I out?
A: We’re accepting applications until September 18th, 2022.
Q: Okay… what… happened to me?
A: Hit in the head with a Wiimote while playing Wii Tennis. Your friend wasn’t wearing the wrist strap. Again, not important. If you think we’re funny, apply to work with us! Help make us a better place and learn about satire! If you think we’re not funny, join to try and turn around this unfunded garbage heap of a website!
Q: You’re not even dressed up like a doctor! Who are you? Why are you here? Why won’t you stop talking about peaches?
A: The Free Peach is a student-run news satire publication. We were founded in early 2019 by a group of disgruntled Black Sheep writers who wanted revenge. We’ve been losing popularity ever since!
Q: If I’m here, can I at least have some hospital food?
A: I already ate your Jello.
Q: Fuck.
Apply under the Join Us tab on our website!