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Posted on September 23, 2023 by: Jackie Fenner

To Those Ordering a ‘Flat White’ at Yali’s: I Am NOT on the Menu

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Month: February 2021

Posted on February 27, 2021May 9, 2023 by: Abby Fisher

Heartbreaking! Sophomore’s LinkedIn Profile Edited From “Business Administration” to “Econ”

BERKELEY, Calif. – Two weeks ago, admissions decisions from Berkeley’s Haas School of Business were released, consequently prompting a flurry of LinkedIn activity.  “Econ is …

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Posted on February 26, 2021September 8, 2022 by: The Free Peach

The Free Peach Applicant FAQs

The Free Peach is a student-run news satire publication. We were founded in early 2019 by a group of disgruntled Black Sheep writers who wanted revenge. We’ve been losing popularity ever since!

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Posted on February 24, 2021May 13, 2021 by: Bernard Chan

UC Berkeley #1 in Public Universities That Didn’t Participate in Capitol Riots

Recently, the high council of U.S. News & World Report added a new section to their exhaustive list of university rankings after a UCLA student …

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Posted on February 22, 2021April 27, 2023 by: The Free Peach

Post-Trump, Wealthy White Woke Grandparents Relieved to Return to Peaceful, Undisturbed Life

According to the elderly couple, their beloved daily routine –– waking up, watching television, petting their dog Hubert, walking around an elegant New York suburb and cooking dinner –– was drastically affected by Trump. 

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Posted on February 20, 2021May 13, 2021 by: Bernard Chan

Health Officials Propose Storing COVID Vaccines in Main Stacks Amidst Freezer Space Shortage

The bleak, frozen environment of this place is known for its chilling temperatures and stark landscape as one of the coldest and quietest natural sites in the Northern Hemisphere. 

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Posted on February 19, 2021September 22, 2021 by: jokimg

UC Berkeley Announces Phase Allocation of COVID-19 Vaccine to be Determined by SAT Score

BERKELEY, Calif. – Amid self-sequester mandates in UC Berkeley residence halls and an increase in UCPD presence to limit the spread of COVID-19, the university …

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Posted on February 18, 2021May 6, 2021 by: Tyler Goldstein

BREAKING: Berkeley DeCals Not Stickers

BERKELEY, Calif. — Several Cal students recently came to the revelation that Berkeley DeCals are, in fact, student-taught classes and not Berkeley-themed stickers. “I was …

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Posted on February 17, 2021May 5, 2021 by: Shane Pauker

Girlboss! The RA Who Just Wrote You up Is a Woman

In a win for women everywhere, Unit 2 RA Jessica Poole has just written up some freshman for alcohol possession. 

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Posted on February 13, 2021September 11, 2021 by: anniebushh

Horse Tranquilizer Reportedly “Only Way to Relax” After Long Week of Sitting In Bed Staring at a Screen

The Free Peach doesn’t condone drug use. Well, maybe we do, but only if you’re cool and most certainly not if you’re in Greek life.

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Posted on February 12, 2021May 9, 2023 by: The Free Peach

Organizers Plan to Make People’s Park a Regents’ Scholar So the University Actually Respects It

The decades-long battle against the university over People’s Park is gaining traction once again, aided by a new initiative to make the park a Regents’ Scholar.

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