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The Free Peach

Peachy keen satire from the home of the Free Speech Movement

Posted on December 4, 2019 by: The Free Peach

Transfer Student from Alabama Claims F in CS70 “Just a Quality Loss”

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Month: December 2019

Posted on February 27, 2019February 28, 2019 by: The Free Peach

It’s Raining: Should You Leave The House?

It it even worth it?

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Posted on February 27, 2019September 27, 2019 by: Daniel Menegaz

Cut DKE Some Slack. I Fucked A Goat and it Wasn’t That Bad (by George Clooney)

And it is due to that experience that I can no longer sit idly by as brothers of the Delta Kappa Epsilon Fraternity are stigmatized for their alleged goat-based paraphilia.

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Posted on February 27, 2019February 27, 2019 by: The Free Peach

Youngest Class Ever?: Meet UC Berkeley’s Class of 2023

The first wave of UC Berkeley’s class of 2023 has arrived! Apparently, these are some of the best applicants ever. We at The Free Peach did a little bit of investigating to figure out who exactly these new students are

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Posted on February 27, 2019 by: The Free Peach

UC Berkeley Encourages Turning Point USA To Protest at a School They Could Actually Get Into

So, in compliance with UC Berkeley’s new policy, Turning Point USA has been promptly booted from campus.* Unfortunately, they have sworn they will return, and they have started looking into SAT prep classes. However, to cover their bases, they should probably learn how to read first.

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Posted on February 26, 2019 by: The Free Peach

I Won’t Tell My Mom I Love Her Because She Uses An Android

Sorry mom, but get an iPhone, or get the fuck out of my life.

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Posted on February 26, 2019 by: The Free Peach

Diversity Win: Josh Has a Thing for ‘Exotic’ Women

What a day for civil rights! Students and faculty at the University of California, Berkeley were thrilled to see that the spirit of social activism is alive and well at the home of the Free Speech Movement, as Cal student Josh Thompson revealed last Thursday that he “has a thing for ‘exotic’ women.”

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Posted on February 26, 2019November 5, 2019 by: The Free Peach

Listen: What Did You Expect? (by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences)

Okay, okay. So you’re all upset that we gave Green Book the Oscar for Best Picture. Hell, some of our members here at the Academy probably are too. But before you throw a temper tantrum, just listen:

What did you expect?

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Posted on February 25, 2019 by: The Free Peach

Feminist Win! Men’s Entitlement to Anal Sex Allows Women to Admit They Have Buttholes

Ass this exciting new world of sexual freedom develops, it’s safe to say that women are being liberated, ass they can now admit they have buttholes just like everyone else.

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Posted on February 23, 2019February 26, 2019 by: The Free Peach

What Font Should Your Murderer Forge Your Suicide Note In?

Specifically, what font should your murderer forge your suicide note in to be most realistic? Just curious! No ulterior motive here! Take our quiz to find out!

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Posted on February 21, 2019February 26, 2019 by: The Free Peach

Nobel Laureate Ghost Pledging [Redacted]

If a rule is broken in a fraternity and it doesn’t cause national outrage, is it really broken at all?

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