So you woke up this morning, refreshed and ready for a new dawn, only to find that you texted your crush “Come find me, big boy” at 2 am…with no response.
Astrology? More like astrolog-eats, am I right? Ha ha. What spoon are you, based on the day of your birth?? Only the stars—and this Free …
Making the same silly mistakes over and over again without ever learning or changing. I would never do something so stupid.
Anyway, today I texted Brad.
Sproul Plaza, the thoroughfare that serves as the campus’ south entrance, in fact be crowded sometimes.
Every time I’m with a man, he tells me that he loves playing with my boobs or that my butt is perfect. I’m so tired of not being valued for more. Why can’t they compliment me for my left labia?
We’re all thinking it, but I guess I have to be the one to say it: the fecund melisma of saturnine parlance is an enervated corpus delicti of modern ontological praxis.
Mercury is in flavortown and you know what that means… The Free Peach does horoscopes now! You’re welcome. Scroll for your weekend horoscope!
Olivia is a gem of a roommate: she’s neat, considerate, very quiet when getting ready in the morning, and one time she bought you that Black Bottom muffin from Strada just because she thought of you. We love Olivia, and every day we thank the lord that she is who she is, and not Rebecca.
The clues are all there. In the new trailer, Anna and Elsa are shown venturing into the “Forbidden Forest.” You know what else is considered “forbidden”? INCEST!
As this publication is renowned for its hard-hitting investigative journalism, The Free Peach hired a team of paranormal investigators to assess the situation.