I have bangs and glasses. I play the ukulele. And I have four pairs of overalls.
So for all you out there like me, I urge you, take a stand! Fight for what you believe in! If you were a real liberal, you wouldn’t Snapchat him back!
Don’t let the capitalist propaganda fool you! Count Olaf was no villain. He was simply a Marxist trying to redistribute capital from a nepotistic family to less fortunate often overlooked communities.
The mission: Last an entire month without eating any nuts or nut-adjacent products.
The Olaf doll was promptly destroyed after the Florida man’s acts, sending a signal to Floridians statewide that doing things like that is not okay.
I’ve tried countless anti-aging serums, under-eye creams, and even botox. But nothing has ever made me appear so youthful as wearing a lanyard like a lost Berkeley freshman!
The American public is under constant surveillance, and social media only aids in these pursuits. Mark Zuckerberg is sitting on a huge cache of my …
We at The Free Peach would like to mention that these events happened last week, not this week.
My peers ask me this all the time. “Why can’t you just ask a question like everybody else?” and “Why do you insist on taking up space?”
“I can hear my asshole neighbor screaming ‘Thank god everyone’s asleep! I needed to nut so badly, baby.’”