BERKELEY, Calif. – The University of California, Berkeley has founded more venture backed companies than any other collegiate institution. The Free Peach has conducted an independent investigation to better understand the demographics of young entrepreneurs on campus.
“You don’t understand. Like I said, it’s like ‘Duffl’ but without the scooters,” explained UC Berkeley Freshman and entrepreneur Gunner Drewpout. Drewpout is the founder of ‘Hustl’ a pre-product, pre-revenue, pre-users startup that enables rapid on foot delivery of goods and meals to students near campus.
The allure of a multiple million dollar check and free reign to prompt three parallel instances of Codex, Claude, and Gemini is irresistible for young students with one of the ideas of all time.
“In the future, the acceptance letter to Berkeley will just be a formality. All the real visionaries will pre-dropout to raise a pre-seed,” continues Drewpout. “And don’t even bother trying to do something innovative and impactful with your startup. Helping first responders? Making more environmentally friendly biomaterials? Get out of here with that shit. Only expert prompt engineers can learn market-proven ways to milk people for every dime they are worth.”
In their interviews, The Free Peach learned startup founders, despite performing perfectly on homeworks, favored worse than their classmates on exams. Their friendly can-do attitudes in their discussion posts also did not extend to in-person conversation.
“Yeah, so what? My grades are shit. I’m already on academic probation. But that won’t matter when ‘Hustl’ takes off,” said Drewpout. “And when I’m rich, I’m guaranteed to go viral on LinkedIn. ‘I Dropped Out of UC Berkeley, Here’s what I learned about B2B AI SaaS’ is going to do numbers.”