BERKELEY, Calif. – Trick-or-treaters and rave-goers alike were shocked at the stunning dedication to Halloween that occurred today on campus, ranging from the furry club giving out free candy to the ten man on the street videos randomly being filmed. However, it was your project partner who really understood Halloween, by seeming really nice on the first day and then not texting you for three entire months.
“Sorry, I’ve been so busy,” lamented your project partner, Flake E. Jones, cornered outside his dorm room, smelling vaguely of weed and Almond Joys. “There’s just been a lot going on in my life, like, generally, in a sense. My four consulting clubs all decided to have their retreats over four consecutive weekends, so there’s my free time gone, haha. Besides that, I’ve got this really difficult class– not sure if you’ve heard of Astro C10. It’s like, the king of the weeder classes, bro. This class that you’re taking in order to graduate– I’m taking it for fun! So you understand how it’s kinda low on my priorities list. And the project we’re working on was only due last week! The profs are totally chill with me because I’m on the water polo team. I mean, I’m on the bench most of the time, but they don’t know that, so they give me, like, 10 free passes on each assignment. So I gotchu, bro. And I’ll totally text you back. Um, soon. What was your name again?”
On November 2nd, Jones continued his practice of the Halloween spirit by still ghosting you.