BERKELEY, Calif. — The act of allowing the trash to pile high in one’s apartment yet waiting for a different roommate to take it out appears to be the newest form of submission at UC Berkeley. Overtaking people who enjoy being tied up or pinned down, this dirty yet timid act has been recently adopted by three additional Cal students: my pillow princess roommates.
My first roommate, Alfred, explained the phenomena while actively avoiding eye contact with the increasingly tall pile of trash.
“Honestly, I just forgot it needed any attention at all,” Alfred said softly. “I have a good enough time in the kitchen as is, and to be honest, I don’t even know exactly where the trash can is. Clearly if it wanted to be taken out, it would make itself more prominent and less confusing,” he added while pinching his nose due to the apartment’s intense garbage stench. “I’d like to think I’m more of a chiller anyway.”
Conversely to Alfred, my other roommate Andy loves the trash can.
“It hasn’t yet poured over the brim, but I can tell it’s so close!” Andy explained with a yearning tone in his voice. “I love putting more and more garbage in to see how much it can handle–but not all at once of course. It’s a calculated process. From the moment you put the fresh bag, I’m on the edge of my seat just watching it all. When it comes to me and garbage, there’s lots of things on the edge.”
Though Andy seems to have control over the trash-collecting process, his dominance over the situation ends there. Later that same evening, the trash had spilled all over the kitchen floor, while Andy, clearly exhausted yet exuberated, was found lying under the mess.