BERKELEY, Calif. – While his peers spent most of RRR week cramming for their numerous high-stakes in-person final exams, comparative literature major and guy no one enthusiastically invites to parties, Noe Eksams, explained how due to the essay-based nature of his major, he has no in-person tests.
“Yeah, it’s actually crazy because while other people are just trying to memorize equations for their trivial STEM subjects, I am actually diving deep into various literary masterpieces and analyzing them. I provide a unique perspective on the world that nothing, no AI nor student nor professor, could possibly even fathom,” added Eksams while looking at the SparkNotes page for the novel he was supposed to have read months earlier. “Sure, I may use outside tools to aid my writing journey, but I chain smoke while wearing a trench coat and sighing so I’m actually very profound.”
Eksams’s friend and CS major, Mirabel Nosleep, explained her irritation with Eksams.
“He thinks he’s so much better than us because he doesn’t have to take any in-person finals and it really pisses me off. It’s like, no dude, I’m the one that’s better than you. I’m a CS major. Did you know they made a whole new school for us because we’re that much superior? Sure, I got in before they did that but still, I’m the special one, not him. Even though I’m only taking 4 classes, I actually have 10 finals. I’m not even sure what the other 6 tests are for but if that doesn’t show you how much tougher and smarter I am, I don’t know what would.”
After finishing his papers, Eksams spent his finals week posting on Instagram about how crazy it is that he’s “already back home while everyone else is still grinding to support the machine.”