BERKELEY, Calif.– Following yet another controversial rent increase for the human Berkeley co-op residents, rodent residents of the co-ops are in an upsqeuak. Besides the rising costs, which are coupled with fears of more increases to come, the rats are also angered by the lack of a real need for these funds.
“I mean, the co-ops are known for their deliciously dirty kitchens, overly warm and dank spaces, and not to mention their rodent friendly navigation system with the various holes in the walls and large piles of mystery! It is our paradise and we must protect it,” explained local rat organizer and proud Italian-American, Rizzo. “Sure, the likelihood that the extra money will actually go towards improving cleanliness or helping human residents at all are very slight, but these are still very real concerns.”
Fellow rat organizers joined Rizzo in staging an unprecedented crawl out.
“Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty,” yelled compatriot Robert DeVermino. “We are organizing a crawl out next Friday at dawn to demonstrate the large amount of lives this rent increase will impact. Think about that rat under the hat of your friend when they made a suspiciously good cookshift! Think of the rat that was sitting on your chest as you woke up screaming! This crawl-out will be massive, more heads than a Giant-Brewers game at Oracle Park.”
As the Friday crawl-out commenced, human Berkeley co-op residents were alarmed by the shocking lack of rats in their buildings.