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Category: Sports

Posted on November 2, 2026 by: Ellie Shaps

Tragic! Male Athlete Sucks at Only Redeeming Quality

BERKELEY, Calif. –  The time is 11:37 am. Lecture started at 11:10. Your sweat has finally dried from sprinting to get the iClicker when the …

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Posted on October 3, 2026October 6, 2026 by: Jackson Grant

Scam Alert! Cal Football Sells Soul, Still Sucks

BERKELEY, Calif. – Cal Football coach Tosh Lupoi was seen fuming after UC Berkeley’s recent naming rights deal with AI Company Databricks was revealed to …

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Posted on September 28, 2026October 6, 2026 by: Ellie Shaps

JK! Sagapolutele Enters Transfer Portal

BERKELEY, Calif. – Two days after a tragic loss to Clemson, four-star QB and projected NFL draft top pick JKS announced his intent to transfer …

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Posted on January 20, 2026 by: The Free Peach

Heartbreaking: Ex is Better Off Without You

MIAMI, Fl. – After a crazy night out in Miami, it’s official: your ex is doing sooooo much better without you. The night was so …

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