TOKELAND, Calif. — The blunt had barely kissed his lips when freshman Jimmy Pendrix took one hit, exhaled, and immediately let out a ruptured-lung cough …
Kid Who Coughed During Midterm Burned at the Stake
BERKELEY, Calif. – At noon on Friday, April 26th, students gathered in front of Doe Library for Berkeley’s 4th-weirdest event, the burning of Kian Hess, …
Cough Held Throughout 2½ Hour Lecture Now Just Mildly-Irritating Heart Palpitation
“I used to cough whenever I needed to, but I felt the white-hot wrath of hundreds around me,” Alison reported via Zoom, since no reporter wanted to get within a 500 foot radius of her. “I get a COVID test regularly. I can’t say for sure that I haven’t been exposed since testing negative yesterday though… Well, I know I don’t have it. I don’t, right? I— I just needed to cough super badly and I was able to suppress it for two and a half hours, so that means I can’t have it! I don’t! I just needed to cough, and now I have a serious heart issue. People should be happy that I saved them from possibly being exposed to whatever I have, though I know it’s not COVID.”