BERKELEY, Calif. – Protesting the greatest liberal conspiracy since the 2020 election, a group of passionate students from Turning Point USA took to Sproul this morning. Their goal was simple: to abolish the liberal arts.
“It’s right in front of your eyes, people,” explained economics major Rich White, leading a small group of sad, dumpy little men through Sather Gate. “My father was so excited to cough up a bargain $40,000 a year for university, until I informed him that Berkeley has a so-called ‘liberal arts curriculum.’ The woke mob has taken our children’s innocence by teaching them basic human decency, and now, they’ve invaded higher education by making it mandatory to teach these ‘liberal arts.’ One can only imagine the amount of pronouns contained within these courses of study. And even if this has nothing to do with the radical left, why can’t it be called the ‘conservative arts,’ huh? Conservative lives matter, too, you know. I’m just glad I’m enrolled in the college of Letters and Science to avoid this liberal indoctrination, and anyone with a brain should join me. FREEDOM!”
In addition to the rally earlier today, Turning Point USA has been passing out flyers, but to surprisingly few women.