Gather around the couch, make your favorite snacks, and turn on the TV, because this weekend it’s time for the super bowl. Wait, what’s this about football? The Chiefs? Culturally insensitive. 49ers? They’re alright. Some misogynistic comment about Taylor Swift? Come on, there are plenty of valid critiques.
No no, I’m talking about doobie, the devil’s lettuce, weed, whichever alias tickles your fancy. And this occasion strays from my typical daily cannabis routine, mind you. This Sunday, I will be smoking from the SUPER bowl, a monumental weed challenge that even makes the acclaimed Custom Grow 420 guys shiver at its sheer enormity. For scale, I bought this weed by the POUND. I had to construct a completely new bong with a large enough receptacle for my precious herb. I told my family and friends I loved them.
Football fans are beyond my comprehension though. Why would anyone want to waste four to five hours of their time watching this “game” when they can waste that four to five hours getting high and watching Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle. Football is just a barbaric tradition that honestly isn’t compared frequently enough with ancient Rome. I’m just saying if more people smoked weed, maybe there would be more peace in the world. And for the record, the so-called “Green Bay Packers” wouldn’t even stand a chance against my team of green-packers from the Bay.